Apology Boost

Being a person who clings to the Calm Bar by barely a pinky, I tend to end up having to apologise or expecting an apology fairly often. Far too often.

My knee-jerk Rah Rah side is always rallying away at the front of my personality. Or as my partner delightfully puts it, My Inner Jack Russel.

Whether it’s that I “see” most things in the wrong light, that I just don’t get some senses of humour (I don’t. You’re not funny. Why would you add bad witless bigotted humour to that topic.), or that I am a touch more blunt back to you as you may have been to no one in particular, that side is often pulled out (perhaps) a little too fast.

… or to stick with the analogy, It’s the one that manically laughs as it releases the pinky from The Calm Bar.

Yesterday, I fell off the bar straight into one of those “Oooooooooooooooooh, is that what you meant. (Though, even knowing what you meant still doesn’t make it funny). You fucked up, I fucked up, let’s just call it quits & you can buy me a beer” situations.

Being a maturing lady, I decided to pull out the apology to my side of things.

It was graciously accepted (It was as carefully worded to not take full blame, mind you) and, loved was confessed all round.

But once I got going, there was no stopping me. I was pulling apologies out left right & centre at folk who didn’t even realise we’d ever “had an issue” between us.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan, apologising! What a self-gratifying activity!

Look at me! I am a big person! I am mature & can admit my mistakes & take the humble pain punch to my personality!

And now you love me even more! You did not realise I had such depth to my character, strength to my core, until I told you that you were a judgemental, bigoted, narrow-minded, ignorant arrogance of an acquaintance (in clever & witty words & logic, thank you). …which I then followed up with an APOLOGY!

So… who wants to fight… I could use the ego boost!