Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Day Six

So I have reach the sixth day of total sobriety and as yet have not keeled over.

All in all, it’s going well. Extremely well. Too well.

I have not even noticed a change – in mind, in body, or in liver jolts.

I have my theories. These involve me not having had the time to think past American Foreign Policy and Intelligence Communities in Strategic Studies till 3am’s.

Or that my blood is still working years of excess alcohol out of my system so actually I am still pissed as a bored night watchman in a secure SAB warehouse.

The bonuses noted so far –
*Bring on the Road Blocks!! Ha ha!! It was one fun drive up Jan Smuts on Saturday night. Never have I been more pleased to see blue lights and combo boots. Then the fools didn’t stop me, but waved me through. Honestly. When did cops stop picking on the innocent little chick!?!
*R4 for a passion fruit & water. Not only am I totalling my tee, but I am becoming a rich teetotaller. And we just know how much we love to hate those!
*A chick on Friday night told me that she did this same “sober” game for three months and she lost 6 kilos! Man oh man. Now not only am I gonna be a rich teetotaller, I’m gonna be a HOT rich teetotaller. And we REALLY hate those.

Behaviour I have noted is apparently an integral part of me no matter –
*Doing crazy dancing in any available public area;
*Doing this dancing barefoot as my shoes keep getting caught between the slates;
*The desire to be the tallest person in the room, by climbing on any open chair, bench, table;
*Watching late night Saturday e-TV porn with FASCINATION in the Colony;
*Pulling faces for strangers’ cameras;
*Looking drunk in every shot taken of my gorgeous noggin;
*Finding my cleavage and the bounce in my breasts a complete novelty each & every weekend;
*Being one of the last people to leave the stale-beer-reeked establishment – 2.30am bedtime on Saturday night. Good form;
*Enjoying myself. Thoroughly;

Now I am just waiting for that first bitchy stranger to pass a comment about me being “sooooo drunk” the last time he/she saw me. Smack this month of sobriety into your cola-tainted vodka. Bitch.

Still to be achieved
*One month of this;
*One month of this still being NOVEL & stumbling slurring fighting laughing slobbering crowds still being amusing;
*Meeting, loving, flirting, snogging, shagging some gorgeous stranger (Hmmm. Not too certain what this has to do with being sober. But hey, it means I get laid!)

One of my frenchies invited me to a Pretoria wine tasting next weekend. I am left in a complete dilemma. Foreigners – GOOD. Hot foreigners who are oh so lovely – BETTER. The ability to enjoy ones sober self and not eventually reach insanity through temptation with being surrounded by copious amounts of good free wine – D.A.N.G.E.R.O.U.S.



Anonymous said...

Go Champs!!! You totally ROCK!!! We need to meet up!!! Like 10 months ago already.... looking forward to it

Champagne Heathen said...

Ain't I seeing you on Sunday. At least you know I will be able to drag myself off my couch & to the other side of the world as there is no chance of a hangover. Or are we meeting inside the ring!!!!! Hey hey?? :)

Now stop blogging & go and study!!!

RB said...

So bitch - you are sober!

It shows. You have reached the 'confessional' stage. They will begin to bore people and this is when you fully realise that booze does not matter a jot if you are by nature a boring personality. Lucky for your buddies and strangers, you are not boring at all. You are great with a capital GREAT!

Good to see that your behaviour is unchanged. This is excellent news. It means you never did rely on booze to bring out your fantastic funilled sunshine personality. It was there all the time and this is so great.

Mon cher, c'est le bon.

Ciao bonitas chiquita!

High in Dubai said...

Hey Champers...

Wow, sounds good - I am feeling slightly motivated to do the same... However I'll be planning it when I have some wine to end this looooooooong day off!

DaveRich said...

Hey Champers, wine tastings are fine. Those buckets on the tables are there for a reason. To spit it out. This sounds like your toughest challenge yet.

Champagne Heathen said...

Who you calling bitch, bitch!
Where've you been Nambib boy?!?!?!

But I so miss drinking myself a personality. There are now many many people I just cannot converse with. Although, I am now realising that I actually really do not want to converse with them.

Ciao with bisous!

High - judging by the time on my clock you are already drinking that wine after your long day. Bastard.

Daverich - I have to do WHAT with the wine?? Listen buddy, there is only one time i spit!

DaveRich said...

I was waiting for a comment like that:-)

Champagne Heathen said...

It's good to see you know me & my mind so well already :)

ChewTheCud said...

I used to think the alcohol made me drive faster. Turns out I drive that way normally in Joburg at night ;P

Yes it is nice to get home and still have a full wallet ;)

Anonymous said...

hey champs...
it's been 8 years and the novelty still hasn't worn off... and mostly i am still the latest one to leave a party (reason: i could staill stand and move around the dancefloor in good condition til late) - at least, i was until i had a good reason to go home early (shaggadelic baby!)

still, some may see me as the confesional type..

Koekie said...

Champers! Glad sobriety is treating you so well... and glad to hear the stumbling, noombie-jiggling, late-night etv porn watching Colony evenings aren't suffering due to the tee-totalling.

Actually I'm in awe. I wouldn't be able to survive a night at the Colon sober. I can hardly handle it semi-drunk.

Daedalus said...


[..] "Behaviour I have noted is apparently an integral part of me no matter " [..]

- but that is just you as I know you ;)

Mommy said...

You make me proud, lovely woman.
You're doing so well, and you're still just wonderful you!