Thursday, June 14, 2007

I like you today. Today you look like a lady.

One of my few male colleagues just told me he likes me today.
Hey? Why? ”Cause you’re wearing a skirt today. It is the first time I’ve ever seen you in a skirt.”
Hey? In ten months, you’ve NEVER seen me in a skirt? No! I wore one a while back. I remember. Ok, maybe you were out. Hmm. Interesting.

Ten minutes later I realised why this is such a rare phenomenon. In trotting to the coffee machine I had to hike the dumb thing above my knees to actually get take a stride. The bluddy thing is restricting my movements! Forget even sitting cross legged at my computer, I can’t even part my knees far enough to move forward!

WTF.

I fear working in Swaziland as women HAVE TO wear skirts to any and every public meeting or occasion.

And don’t even mention dresses to me. Those are solely for attending mates’ weddings.

Sometimes I really wonder what this whole “chick” thing is. Guys have ties. That is about their one & only random piece of attire. Maybe cufflinks.

We have far too many random “accessories”. Look, I am all for necklaces and bracelets. But earrings? Ruffled shirts? Nail polish and so then nail remover?? Hair clips and gawd, don’t even start me on the hair issue. Preferably, just give me an elastic band, some 2-in-1 shampoo and let me forget the “stuff” even exists on my head.

Ok. I am not THAT bad. I am just starting to appreciate the High Heel. I have recently learnt the brand “Zoom”. Is it a brand? Well, there is a shop in the Zone where I have trained myself into looking at pieces of fake crocodile leather on inches high metal or plastic sticks and saying, OOooooo, aren’t these GOOORGEOUS! And not blinking at the tag showing a number over R199.00.

But the heel interest will only continue to last as long as I am able to take the pain-inducing bastards off at night’s end to either walk car-wards barefoot or hitch a piggy-back ride.

I do even have more than two handbags. I just never use more than two for months at a time. And I keep getting locked in my office as my office keys are always in the wrong bag. So each evening I ask, why do I need this random hassle, I really need to find myself another denim backpack.

Make-up lasted in my world of trends for about a month. I can’t even take my contacts out when I crawl into bed, let alone bothering with chemicals and cotton puffs for my face. I get comments of “What’s the grand occasion” when I wear base. And two photos of me with panda eyes moved me quickly off mascara.

So someone please explain this “skirt” thing. It is useless in keeping me warm. I have to ensure I have smooth lovely legs that day. And forward motion does not necessarily come standard.

Random yes. But I need a “Being a Chick” bitch every once in awhile.

5 comments:

hot pink flush said...

Hmmm, how to explain skirts, when all you say about them is true...

Well, they look sexy? You get compliments? Yeah, pretty lame I know.
I find my solution - one which will piss fashionistas off enormously, but one which allows me to fold the legs at the desk etc without fear of a priavte viewing - is to wear them (and dresses) with leggings underneath.

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like you should advocate skirts as a form of birth control.

It seems to help ..umm..keep your legs closed..

Lol

Champagne Heathen said...

HPF - Argh, yes, that dumb "viewing" issue too! That was the bain (bane?) of my school days. Actually, there's a point? Why aren't school girls rather made to wear pants? Seems more sensible.

Rev - Only the skirts suitable for the office. Some of the skirts these days (skelts? Blirts?) might just be counter productive to birth control efforts!

Louisa said...

I agree with you Champs, 100%. If you find the answers please let me know as well.

Phlippy said...

I think men nowadays have almost as many pressures on them as women do as women seem FAR more discerning.

Yes we have ties and cufflinks, we also have braces, waist-coats [I know women have them too but more for men] and the list can keep going if you think about it.

WRT you in a skirt... babe, your legs are hot... you know it ;-)