Thursday, July 19, 2007

What If

What if you and I had decided to kiss that year and a half ago? Broken that great friendship, there on my couch late that night, to discover one another. Instead of dodging the idea between a knocked wine glass and the front door.

What if it had led to better things? Something incredible. That I can look back on with such tenderness. Rather than this tinged sadness that I did not see you enough when we were able.

What if that night had ruined it all?

What if I had never let you come past that afternoon? Would I still be able to face you now without thinking, we messed it all up.

What if I was not too busy with friends to actually go on that date with you? Would I be feeling stomach turns and girlish grins today.

What if you had not stayed for my last glass of wine? Perhaps I still would not know you. Perhaps we would not think of the other with anger. Perhaps I would still be about to meet you, this time when we were both ready.

What if you did not have another woman when I was ready. What if I had never discovered the other woman.

What if, when we finally did kiss, the night before you left, you had not said to me, “I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest time”. And I’d been allowed left to imagine we were just being drunken horny mates.

One is not meant to live life by “What if”s.

But they do cause the sweetest of dreams.

7 comments:

iScatterling said...

So, what if I come to Jhb to see my sister and take all you guys out to get dronk verdriet?

Want to time the visit with a Geek or 27 dinner.

What if?

ChewTheCud said...

What if he had a venereal disease? What if he cheated on you with another woman? What if he cheated on you with another man?

You're always going to be imagining it as the best it could have been. Cherish that but don't let it rule your thinking. Focus on tomorrow hun, not yesterday.

Champagne Heathen said...

Robs - Dronk verdriet? I was hoping for some barcounter dance action!!

Chews - that's what I'm saying... you can't ask 'what if' cause there are so many possibilities. But sometimes it is fun to go with the "what if".

Leigh-Anne said...

I'm sorry, I know it's not at all funny, but for the life of me I can't stop giggling at Chews' comment!

Her Infinite Cuteness said...

Champers love thats was beautiful, very sad but beautiful

Champagne Heathen said...

Leigh-Anne - I'll be sure to smack him over the head when I next see him for "killing my vibe"!

Cuteness - Thanks! Hope you're well chickie!

Anton said...

What if your father's sperma missed your mom's egg? There's never ever just one main significant event. Everything has a trigger effect, it's called Chaos Theory.

Still, the nice thing about "almost" happens is they allow you to... um...
"remember" what almost happened more... um... vividly.

Champers, vividness is fun, too.