Friday, December 07, 2007

Boss Talk

No decent blog today as Champs’ is overworked and underpaid.

And I have proof!...

Conversation between Ex Boss & one of the Current Bosses this week:
“Are you not paying our dear Champers?? She obviously isn’t able to eat. Look how thin she’s gotten!!”
[Aaaaah, gotta love him!]
"No, I think she just burns it off with her nighttime activities"
[Hey??]

Then they went on to discuss what an incredible slave I make....

Other bizarre things bosses discuss, other than my weight:

“Champs, just ask any therapist, you need to be developing healthy sexual relationships at your age".
“‘Healthy’ is a subjective word there, Dr. Boss”.
“Maybe you’re lesbian?...”
“Great. You’re welcome to set me up with a chick to test this, but she's gotta be HOT”.
“…OR! You’re asexual…”.
“Yes, boss. That is it. I am asexual. Does this mean we can drop the topic?”
“Hmmm. No. You can just see you most definitely are not asexual”.
“Hey?? And how exactly does one NOT look asexual?”

This is why one does not work with doctors or AIDS activist or liberals.
No topic is too scared in the workplace.

Now back to work, biatch. [My mantra to myself this week...]

11 comments:

Ruby said...

well, think about it this way....at least you got a compliment out of the deal?

maybe you should start wearing really shabby clothes...then they'll realise that they are paying you waaaaay too little

SheBee said...

Oh shame. I sympathise! My boss regularily asks me if I've been shagged or not depending on my mood.

Revolving Credit said...

So, are you getting the hot chick or not??

iScatterling said...

Jeez now how am I supposed to remain focused on work after reading this stuff?!

Fantasyland Express just arrived and I have a one day, one-way ticket. Non-redeemable.

Champagne Heathen said...

Ruby - Maybe I should start getting to work an hour before my boss, rather than an hour after, and then I'd have ANY cred in asking for more cash! They don't care if you work till midnight, one's performance seems ever linked to what time you ARRIVE at work! As for clothing - when I wear heels or a collared shirt, people ask why am I looking so smart!

Shebees - One of my dear bosses has even attempted blind-dating me out. He learnt fast that I do NOT appreciate this!

Rev - Sadly, no. He said that while there were a few hot lesbians at the wedding he recently went to, all were dating other hot lesbians.

Damn them. They are messing with my experimenting.

Robs - good to know I perked up your afternoon! :)

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, sounds like you may just have extend the scope of your experiment to girly 3somes.

Champagne Heathen said...

It will be tough. But indeed it does seems that one of us will have to. And I guess, anatomy considering, it will have to be me to take up the challenge!

AT LEAST Lesbian sex is low risk behaviour!!

Revolving Credit said...

Hey, maybe I could be a wolf in lesbians clothing!

Champagne Heathen said...

A whole new meaning to "Show us your Growler!" then...

Martin said...

Yeah, in most offices it's quite clear who's getting some and who's not.

Apparently some people exude some sort of tranquility afterwards.

Apparently, I'm a very tense individual...

Bridget said...

I would love your boss! Mine is a closet homo who live vicariously through self. Once in a while he'll asked me if I have finally shagged a girl as I once told him i might do this in the near future. Let him set you up with a chick, I'll send him my Girl Hunt CV! I promise to be HOT!