Thursday, January 10, 2008

Commenting on Easy

I like comments that make me think. Ones that often make me have to argue my post’s case back. Cause if you cannot argue back… then maybe you have to be the one to change your perspective.

I’m not sure why, but the short comment from Anon got me thinking in circles…

''London makes you forget this'', do me a favour, you go to any Walkabout or Zulus on a friday or saturday in London, and you se plenty of guys trying to pounce on the drunk easy girl. Its not a south african phenomenon, but a worldwide problem. Maybe London just gives some the false impression they above that. Sorry but this guy just needs to get over himself!

To Anonymous,

I think, in this case, you would have to rather blame the author than the character. I think I might have left out a vital sentence or two.

We had just been having debates and heavy chats about HIV an hour before, so when we were talking to those kids it was still on our minds. Including that statement in my summarising of his distress was rather to highlight the topic of HIV transmission in SA’s youngsters.

Young black poor girls are seen as a main group for contracting HIV, and current themes are that these girls often are not in a position to argue for the use of a condom. This girl was not even in a state to argue whether she wanted sex or not, let alone a condom. The simplistic “ABC”s of Prevention (Abstain, Be Faithful, Condomise) were completely foreign to this moment.

And standing next to me was an intelligent, highly educated, very caring guy built well enough to take on a physical fight for this girl. However, could he talk this girl out of this situation, but more pivotal, should he even get involved.

HIV is being so easily transmitted in front of our eyes. Here in SA. If we are concerned about it, at what level and how aggressively should we be fighting for prevention. If I am all for “HIV Prevention”, should I step in and rally my point at an individual level, or can I take solace in me sitting at my computer in my office battling it out during the working year.

I don’t think there is an easy answer. And that’s where the distress and inaction came from. Too many elements playing about the argument.

Parallel to this was the “date rape” aspect of the incident. And that is most definitely universal.

Added to this are the start of questions about whether there is a hierarchy to the negative aspects to sex. Yeah, I was date raped, but at least it wasn’t a violent rape by a stranger, and hey! at least it wasn’t gang rape, while even better I didn’t become pregnant or get an STI, and BEST OF ALL! …. I did not contract HIV from this traumatic incident.

When being politically correct, we all say of course there is no hierarchy to rape or sexual assault or sexual violation. But what is really going on in each person’s mind or are people saying in private. I know that my irrational side believes in this hierarchy, as much as my rational side fights against it.

So, on one level, people who live in London are able to put out of their daily minds the worry of HIV’s devastation of their present society. Lucky them?

On another level, sexual violation is universal, and if you take out the guy’s paraphrased statement about London, I was hoping people would still consider the questions of when, if ever, to step in.

There are still a few other elements to that incident that have got me thinking – such as was I stereotyping her danger, and would it have changed the post if I mentioned the kids’ race and socio-economic status… but that’s all the thought I have for now.

So, thanks for making me think and argue back to my thoughts!


boldly benny said...

Hi Champers
You have bought up some very interesting points which will definitely give me fodder for thought today.
One thing that really stood out is the idea of hierarchy in crime, especially violent crime. I'm not sure if we are all becoming desensitised but it's quite scary the way we seem to downplay a crime if the outcome was 'not as bad as it could've been'. A friend of mine was violently raped and then nearly killed - most people replied "well, at least she wasn't killed" or "at least she didn't contract HIV". It runs shudders down my spine that we're now aggregating the result of crime!

fuzzy logic said...

Context makes a world of difference ;-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Bennz - How have the thoughts been going? And yeah, the heirarchy idea always plays in my mind and is very disturbing.

Fuzzy - But it is fun without it...changes everything... and then you suddenly have the context...and things are flipped about even more... Hmm. I think I need to finish that Post Modern book already!

Lopz said...

Very though provoking post Champers - I know I can always come to your blog for a healthy dose of reality and encouragement to step outaside my little bubble and think. It's nice to know there are intelligent party people out there.

Anonymous said...

Well now that sounds like a different story althogether. Glad I could at least provide a talking point.

Kudos to you for having the strength of character to openly discuss past tragic events, not many out there could.

My apologies then to your mate if I jumped to a conclusion, I blame the author!

Champagne Heathen said...

Lopz - aah, you make me blush with such kind words! Thank you!

Another theme that came up that night in convos (hmm, now I am suddenly realising where all the time went that night!) was maybe I need to stop reality checking myself so much - does have consequences on one's personality. But that's for a whole other post...

The Infamous Anonymous - I will be sure to pass on your apologies, should I ever see the dear boy again! And even then, mention that I wrote about him!

As for the author - damn dodgy lot, really, here in the blog world! With this whole silly "free for all" idea, you never know what crazy people you're gonna get typing out babble in the name of "creative writing" & "intelligent theorising"! ;o) However, she does thank you for your kind words! Please comment again...

Anonymous said...

did you give them condoms?

Champagne Heathen said...

Nope - despite all my talk that all I do in life is hand out condoms on street corners!

All I had on me were car keys & cash in my back pocket. (Well, technically I had less on me at that exact moment, but that's not the point!) I did think about condoms, but did not have the fist clue where to find one out there on that beach, and my mate didn't have any either. I think I shouted to them when they were half gone "Wear A Condom!!"