Monday, July 07, 2008

Some Thoughts from East Europe...and London with its crap weather

A bit of what I learnt in the past three weeks:

· London weather is CRAP;
· Croatia apparently does have days of crap weather, but as far as I witnessed, this is all baseless rumours;
· If you go to Budapest, everyone will tell you to visit the Turkish-style baths… these are gross (not in architecture, which is gorgeous, but rather in hygiene) but highly amusing to test out;
· 50 degree steam rooms burn your throat and nostrils;
· EVERYTHING north of Africa is expensive – no matter what currency you are dealing in or how "developing" the European country;
· There are rich people in the world who need to be sat down and explained to what the difference between a yacht and a personal gold-coated tanker are;
· I can pull off a white bikini!;
· The National History Museum in London is definitely worth a visit… but book at least a week off… you’ll need it just for one wing. And it's FREE!;
· South Africans who have moved to London have forgotten the meaning of “Summer weather”;
· Cruising on a yacht in a sunny country with incredible food and beer does not aid one’s ability to pull off a white bikini;
· Every girl in Europe is wearing SHORT shorts… no no, even shorter than THAT!;
· I now own three pairs of short shorts, but not as short as most European girls;
· Germans and Austrians LOVE to tan naked. And love to tan naked in groups in confined boat spaces. And love to tan naked standing up & thrusting out their pelvis to passing yachts;
· Most German & Austrian “naturalist” bathers should keep their kit on!;
· If you don’t tan naked, you then only sport a speedo, and the style is to walk around town in your speedo and t-shirt – no pants needed!;
· I LOVE European markets!! Always have. Always will. In a certain century most major European markets had official building made for them, which they still use today;
· I LOVE European ice cream as much;
· My heaven might just be a yacht off the Croatian coast, working through four kilos of muscles just bought from a muscle farm in a small sea inlet, drinking GnTs/ beer, in my bikini, with my man & a coupla other goofy folk;
· All white wine tested in Croatia was crap, and it is understandable why everyone drinks spritzers rather;
· They call red wine “Black wine”, and also add soda water to this;
· It is possible to order a litre bottle of wine with one’s meal…while the guys at the table work through a litre of beer each;
· Hungarian food is rich and heavy but quite quite tasty;
· That Tokaij wine they carry on about just tastes like sherry to me – although rumour has it, more is sold than is produced, meaning you probably aren’t drinking the real stuff;
· If I lived in an Eastern European country I definitely would own one of those round white fluffy fur hats during the winters;
· Some form of Croatian alcoholic spirit is potent;
· When getting lost on a Croatian island after too much potent Croatian shooters from the waiters, phone one's mother at 2am for a chat, and then find a crazy bar where the locals pass around a guitar & sing crazy folk songs while you snooze there till dawn;
· Hangovers, 35 degree heat, stuffy yacht cabins, and a choppy sea will take your sea legs right out from under you & you will be close to hell;
· How do we make the SA sun also set around 10pm during our summers…cause that rocks my little catamaran!:
· My man spoils me more than he realises is good for him in his long term… I am getting used to being bought champagne on long international flights, rings and bikinis and anything my eyes are attracted to;
· Wimbledon windmills are sneaky little buildings difficult to track down when in need of a cuppa; · Did I mention the crap London weather!?;
· Hungarians could be friendlier;
· Croatians are happy to talk about their war experience;
· Both countries have fascinating but fkcing depressing histories;
· The Budapestian Parliament is incredibly incredibly beautiful;
· It is possible to visit Europe and only tourist about one church!;
· The Hungarian language is close to being one of the most bizarre languages yet developed;
· Arabic still beats it in sounding the most bizarre;
· The Dubai lay-over airport terminal scares me a little with its overbearing BUY-BUY-BUY consumerism atmosphere;
· Losing one’s passport at 1am when on your own in a lay-over middle-eastern airport will definitely add a jolt of adrenalin to your trip;
· There definitely are strip clubs in Budapest – these can be deceptive in appearance though. Some either have amateur night on Mondays or are just crap;
· And here’s one for Peas from Budapest:


Peas on Toast said...

Dude shut up that's HILARIOUS!!!

I need to forward this to C asap.

What do they sell? Don't say what I think you might say....

Ruby said...

oh my! sounds like you had an absolute blast!

boldly benny said...

Wow, sounds like an incredible holiday.

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas - Good travelling times! What did C have to say about it?

Rubes - too good! Now I am struck down with the plague and coughing and hacking away!

Benz - :) Too good too good!