Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting

...Well, not really. The “chat” with my flatmate yesterday evening was so sickeningly-sweetly diplomatic that I could see UN Security Council guys in the corner taking notes.

What it did make me realise is Wow, but people LOVE to talk. Talk about anything that is not their business. And when they do, they love to dramatise, embellish, hype and all the rest. The way my flatmate was relaying the blown-up situation & everyone else’s involvement in the most random of issues, I am surprised that the petrol attendant hadn’t stopped me recently to ask how things were progressing.

My advice to her was, Stop Listening to the Talk. People will always talk. And hype. And dramatise. And delve into it with a disturbing sense of humour. After all, just look at how profitable some of the most useless celebrity gossip mags and newspapers are! When you hear the talk, you just have to let it go. Realise from whence it comes. And especially NEVER take as credible that information you have heard via via via.

[Man, if all the talk in the world about me was true I would be a super-sexed model, taking crack on the side, while one of my 7 children wailed from the basement, and I’d be a core member of the Jo’burg Orgy Club. We meet once a month. Always a different venue for more variety. During the summer months we prefer to take things outdoors.]

I had to explain to her yesterday evening, in a coffee shop, where the women at the next table listened with amusement, that unless you are one of my friends on speed dial you do not really have a clue about what I feel and think about a situation. Others know my banter, but honestly, I banter a lot. If people believed all my banter they would think I was a super-sexed model, taking crack while... . And actually, even the Speed Dial Friends pretty much ignore my rants, as they are fully aware that it is me venting about MY PERCEPTION, not about reality and facts. My Speed Dial Friends are intelligent like that.

There was a near moment though when I almost did administer a karate chop to her jugular when she said, “Yes, but EVERYBODY is talking…”. Honestly? Everybody? Hey, Waiter darling, how aware are you of this situation. Forgodsake. One man’s bad day gripe is another man’s world grumbling to the ground based on gossip and banter.