Thursday, September 28, 2006

Communication Protection

My boss emailed me a video advert for condoms. This has disturbed me. Surely he doesn’t have the impression…well, I don’t know…what impression would one have by sending others condom videos. Does he think I am needing them? Or need reminding of their future possibilities? Or that, as an AIDS Activist, maybe this form of prevention passed my notice. After all, I was once an almost Teacher of Abstinence-Only. Bluddy hell, it cannot be any of the former. He is well aware that as of late all I use evening hours for is to sit ticking away at this computer until…well, until most of this coupled city and a few clients of Oxford's nightlife are involved in exploring the possibilities of condoms.

I spend my nights trying to pull four thousand dumb words out of Google and Wikipedia AND “make them my own” (Champs 2006: online blog). What the hell would I need condoms here for?!?!

Unrelated, I am also disturbed at receiving a sms from Teazers AND being addressed as one of their valued customers:
Apologies to our loyal customers the correct number is 084TEAZERS. Book now 4 the all GRAND new Teazers Rivonia. Free Ent. Show sms.

Dear god, I hope the two subjects are unrelated.

Enough banter. Here’s a headline for you:

AIDS Prime Cause for Deporting Foreigners from South Korea.

Nice hey, nice. Nothing like a little discrimination to run from the problem and increase my issues with Stigma-Fighting.

AIDS Prime Cause for Deporting Foreigners
Korea Times

More than three in five foreigners deported from South Korea for medical reasons were forced to leave after testing positive for HIV, which causes AIDS.

The Ministry of Justice said yesterday that a total of 143 foreigners were deported between 2003 and June this year after being found to have contracted an infectious disease.

Among them, 61.5 percent or 88 were found to be HIV positive, the ministry said.
Syphilis was the second most frequent case, with 46 foreigners infected with the sexually transmitted disease. Tuberculosis was third.

Of the foreigners, 71 were in their 20s, the largest group, followed by those in their 30s and then 40s.


Anonymous said...

Perhaps your boss merely wanted an opinion on the efficacy of the condom ad? i.e. Is it an effective message?
Can you imagine if we started deporting people...the scale of our problem is so massive that there would be a great echoing silence. That's a really sick thing to do. Really really discriminatory.

Champagne Heathen said...

It's all about an umbrella popping up and the guy putting a condom on the umbrella of some hot woman, in the middle of a crowded street. And it ends with the traffic cop laughing.

It's amusing.

Where would we send everyone??
Or maybe, we'll start accepting every other country's deportees. Cause we have the resources and magic cures and all!

m said...

Belarus won't even give you a tourist visa without seeing your HIV test results. And no, I am not joking. But then again, South Korea is suppposed to be a civilized place, which cannot be said about Belarus.

Anonymous said...

It kind of reminds me of "The Island" or "Aeon Flux" or something were people are all locked into a small environment for their own protection. *shudder* Or like criminals were sent to Australia. It's nasty. If you don't like the problem, close your eyes and send it away. Give it some beetroot and olive oil. The world's gone mad.
Ad sounds amusing. Ad sounds a bit weird actually. Is it a local ad?

Revolving Credit said...

Since your Boss knows of your previous work experience, he may assume that you are interested in the Media's efforts regarding HIV prevention. Based on your concerns and interests expressed via your blog, I don't think he's far off the mark.

Now back to stalking...

Since you proclaim yesterdays pic to be location unimportant, here's my pseudo-stalker guess. Baring in mind I am in the Mother City, not Jozi I am unable to physically verify, but if your stalker was in Jozi and this was taken from your flat, well then...

After 15 min research, web only, my guess is that this pic was taken on the corner of Bolton & Bath Rd in Rosebank from the 2nd floor at about 3:30pm.

Do I score any stalker points??

fly said...


paranoia :o)

Revolving Credit said...

On the plus side, we'd deport half the government!

Anonymous said...


fly said...

oh and Champs I also get Teazer sms's, which is crazy since ive been there a grand total of oh...twice... ;o)

I dunno about you guys....but I get about 20 sms spams a week...its the bane of my life.. :o(

Champagne Heathen said...

Montchan - that's ridiculous! At least in Dubai they let the infected tourists into their country, let them sleep around with or without protection, and then only demand the tests when the guys apply for residency.

Meanwhile, the nature of their (Belarus's) epidemic is that it is mainly spread through injecting drug use...maybe they should rather make tourists take a heroin test when applying for visas!! (Man, I know my stuff so well...I even know their prevalence rate is 0.3%...or rather, look here:

The world has gone mad, Jam. It can be such a manageable disease, yet the world is freaking out about it and not taking it calmly and level-headedly. The problem is there aren't any more uncolonised islands that positive people could get shipped off to...though I have noticed an increase in space exploration...

Yes Yes, Rev, but let's not bring reality into my office of why I receive such emails.

I am HIGHLY impressed at your stalking skills!! Helps that the road name's in the photo. Some of the info is wrong, but if I told you which parts it'd be too easy for my stalker. (Meanwhile, if I disappear in the next while, I am leaving a note as you as an acomplis (sp?) to my stalker finally working out my living will make millions off the books though).

Fly - I've only been to Teazers once!! And not even to the Rivonia one! And other than that nice Eastern European lady that took my number I don't recall filling out any 'loyal customer' forms.

I average about 2 spam sms's a month! HA! It's the little things in life that make one feel blessed.

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, do yourself a favour, open the pic you posted yesterday and see if you can read the road name of the sign. I couldn't, even magnified 4 times adn with a change in contrast.

Stalk, stalk, stalk...

Champagne Heathen said...

OOOooo then you ARE good! I can almost hear the whistling behind me...

Do you have a Jo'burg-based assistant? I know I mentioned my suburb in a long-since-past previous blog though... and so gradual powers on deduction perhaps??

Revolving Credit said...

No, have a bit of a porno..umm..photographic memory.

Do recall seeing the place across the road when driving through Rosebank some while ago, but if was at night so it looked a bit different.

Once I had approximate location, used Google Earth to id prospective intersections. The building across the roads roof structure was usefull.

Then checked Gautrain road closures, traffic redirection and associated tree felling to confirm location.

Voila...all from the comfort of my office...

Gonna have to add Google Earth to the list of Stalker tools in the book.

Stalk, stalk, stalk.....

Champagne Heathen said...

Ah see though - How do you get other would-be-stalkers to have such an excellent (yet bizarre) memory. I wouldn't have had the 1st clue that that place was in Rosebank and this is my neck of the woods.

That place across the road was the key to the whole scenario.

Meanwhile, if I ever become bunny-boiling psycho I'm employing you to help me keep track of my target!

Revolving Credit said...

Bizarre memory indeed, you won't belive the type of arb shit I remember. But when it comes to stuff that is important to know or remember, my mind is a sieve.

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Champers
Methinks your boss thinks you're getting some, or I suppose he wants your knowledgeable opinion on whether the freeze-frame condom images would appeal to the lesser-informed public.

Either way, Jack Rock may benefit! :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev, as long as you don't ever forget the little people.

Meanwhile, back to an earlier comment of yours - Do you think we could send Zuma off first to go and establish this sick-and-twisted deportee colony island? (And then obviously just realise how discrimantory it really is. But just forget to tell him. It'd solve JAM's problem on her post today.)

Peas, why on earth would my boss be thinking that?? Maybe I have been grinning too much.

I once did help Jack Rock out with condoms. I happened to be at the Dept. of Health on the day they dropped off a silly amount of crates of free condoms. A lobby packed high to the ceiling with the things. JR asked if I could bring him back a crate. I tell you, it wasn't easy driving out of town in my little car with two crates strapped to the roof. (Obviously I needed one crate for me too!)

Revolving Credit said...

So Champs, apparently you're not getting some, you're getting lots. You needed a crate of condoms???
Repect Girl!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Yes Rev, that's another way to know me. I'm the chick walking around Rosebank like John Wayne...after a crate of condoms!

Actually, that's a good reminder. It's been quite awhile since I was last at the Dept. of Health in ages. Maybe I should do some stocktaking and see if I need a return visit ;)

Revolving Credit said...

So exactly how long ( pardon the pun) does a crate of condoms last you?

Champagne Heathen said...

Ha Ha Rev! That's the Million Dollar Question!

Revolving Credit said...

You pay for sex?

Champagne Heathen said...

10 000 condoms in a crate.
R100 regularly spent in "being sweet and buying the guy a few drinks" that night.

Revolving Credit said...

Let me get this right.(guys point of view)

-She HOT!
-You get to SHAG.
-She buys YOU drinks.
-She bring the CONDOMS.
-Did I mention you get to SHAG.

OK, where's the trick???

Champagne Heathen said...

You forgot:

*She's a yoga fundi;
*She's been trained as a sex ed instructor, so has a decent clue of what she's doing...and how safe it is;
*She scares at commitment;
*She doesn't make coffee in the morning;
*She (is about to) lives with her folks;
*You live in Cape Town.
*She's just using you;

Revolving Credit said...

Sex Ed instructor or demonstrator??

Champagne Heathen said...

Depends on the moment and the guy. Some like/need instructions. Some like/need demonstrations.

Revolving Credit said...

*She doesn't make coffee in the morning

Not sure if this is a good thing?
Depends on what she doing in the morning instead of making coffee?

Champagne Heathen said...

No see, that might have been part of the downside. Or upside given morning alternatives. Pun intended in there, somewhere.

I think I am going to cut-and-paste some of these comments into a personal ad on News24. Honestly, why am I single?!?!? Oh ja, now I remember...

Itsnopicknick said...

Can you actually deport someone for having a virus you don't like? Surely there are rules from the UN or WHO or something that state you cannot turn someone away for having AIDS?

Revolving Credit said...

Personal Ad: "Fun loving B Slot seeks like A Tab for insertion."

Champagne Heathen said...

Ummmm. Hmmmm. Are you trying to catch me out here?!?!?! I'll get back to you about this.

But, yes, a state can so pretty much whatever the hell it likes. The rule of sovereignty and lack of repsect for international rules and institutions at present (you just started me on 1 of my UNISA themes).

They are deporting foreigners with the disease, which is fair enough, in that completely unfair way. It's when they start kicking nationals out that there will be problems in the concepts of Universal Human Rights.

I've heard that even Oz will not given residency to HIV-positive people. First World indeed.

Champagne Heathen said...

Never would I have imagined I would be refered to as a "slot"!

Revolving Credit said...

Honey, based on the crate on condoms someone may mistake you for a slot-machine'

Dolce said...


was going to comment on the blog, the comments were so distracting, I forgot what I was going to say.

a crate of condoms


TwoFlower said...

champs - you must go buy the October Cosmo...that book that you're featured in is in the 'must read' section if i remember correctly!!

hows your 5x7 by the way??? seeing as its almost the end of september...i don't wanna talk about it!! ha ha!

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev, except in my case apparently (by earlier comments from yesterday) you get paid out before you have to slot anything in! sigh. So easy. So so easy.

Dolce, it definitely has been entertaining in here! Would you like a crate for yourself, or how are the toyotas?

2F - yes that's the book! Good memory. Don't buy it and figure out I am. No, well, buy it cause then you're supporting a friend. But don't read it!

Was gonna comment on 5x7 - fuck. That was gonna be my comment. I'll see a scale on Tuesday so Tuesday is fasting N.O.W.