Thursday, October 26, 2006

Life Saving Skills

Darling Twisted KoekSuster mailed a linke to me about a Sunday Times article about new “Save The World” video games.

Who needs Grand Theft Auto, and its car-stealing and prostitute-haggling skills, when you can learn how to create a food pipeline to some impoverished nation called Sheylan. Sorry, though, no firing of a shot, but you do get to negotiate with rebel groups! Oooo.

Or you can learn how to fight cancer, before your energy runs out. The game is called Remission.
Roxxi, a curvy "nanobot" zips through a body with leukemia or a brain tumor zapping ghastly looking cancer cells with chemotherapy….Players surf waves of nausea, a common side-effect of treatment, and persuade patients to eat crackers and to relax, winning points when they calm the symptoms.

Or my best - mainly because it is the only one with a web link in the article and so you can play it online - is The SweatShop . Man, I would make one useless exploited Chinese kid. At least I was smart enough to know not to join the Union, but I was penniless by midway through Day 2.

Nothing like being able to kill a workday all in the name of Humanitarian research and World-Saving Skills Development!!

Meanwhile, whenever I come across an article criticising the US government’s love and funding of Abstinence-Only programmes I have to shout happily & loudly about it. Then I send it off to my old colleagues begging them to print the article, write HA! in big bold red letters across the top of it, and leave it on my ex-boss’s desk. They don’t even need to sign my name. He would know who it was from.

Back in the day we used to argue ceaselessly about sending me off to some godforsaken backend region in Mozambique to teach 60 000 or so little kiddies to ignore those urges, they are evil until you’ve had a big fat white wedding and are hooked to only one man/ woman.

My boss literally said to me, “Champs, think about it this way, you will be in such a dead-end town that….well…if you ain’t getting any, nobody else should be allowed to either”. Good point that. About the only intelligent point even made in favour of this subject.

Amusingly, I had to have a background check done on me to see how good an Abstinence-Only teacher I would make. Apparently the oh-so-intelligent US government came back saying they really liked me. Of course they really liked me! I’m great and really gorgeous! But we were all pretty horrified about these findings….surely their intelligence systems can’t be THAT disastrous & misguided!!

My resignation definitely showed my commitment to holistic AIDS Awareness teaching.

The most amusing thing about this article, Some States Abstain From Abstinence-Only Funding, which is about US States disagreeing with the government about their Sex-Ed approach, is that people seem to think if you tell them so, kids will really believe that they are not ABLE to have sex until they get married.

Your president may be, but I’m willing to bet your kids ain’t that dumb, honeys. They will realise pretty fast just how easy it is to have sex. And I suggest you offer them a few handy hints on how to do it safely before they make this discovery!


Anonymous said...

I've been preached at about abstinence before. But really, get a grip. I'm a grown women and I have URGES...
So best just to be safe. Abstinence is not the only way and it seems somewhat unatural to me.

Champagne Heathen said...

I would LOVE the day someone tries to preach it to me. I am all about choice, but make sure it is an informed choice!

Abstinence training has been proven time & again not to work, but hey, when has the US government ever been one to listen to research!

It also can be very dangerous & further assist in the transmission of STDs, HIV & pregnancy. People seem to think you can abstain & still have oral & anal sex. And it also singles out girls as virgins...which in some communities makes them more likely targets for rape.

Who knew abstaining could be so dangerous in the real world!

Dave said...

There are other important reasons why abstinence should perhaps still be taught. Teenage pregancy is one.

Champagne Heathen said...

Teach it by all means. It definitely is a means of prevention of STDS, HIV, & pregnancy. But you have to teach it in conjunction with other prevention methods. Reserach shows Abstinence-Only programmes to not work & achieve their desired objectives.

And sex ed should never be made moralistic. Sex is fundamentally biological. Cultures make it a moral issue through their perspectives. Teaching those morals to someone who comes from a different cultural perspective can easily damage that kid's healthy understanding of sexual urges & activities.

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that so few of the people who insist on preaching the abstinence-only approach are virgins themselves.

Champagne Heathen said...

Maybe they had a really crap 1st experience & they are trying to save all other people from the disappointment...well, until they're married and have no other choice.

I would love to question George Bush & those rowdy daughters of his though, and find out how his family holds against such right wing conservative views that he bashes about!

Revolving Credit said...

Ha, they fear the terrorist threat posed by the Al-Condom network.

You must be their feared leader, Champagna-Bin-Lining

Champagne Heathen said...

Ha ha ha ha!! Thanks Rev. Great-end-to-the-day comment. Although I don't know how much I like being called a garbage bag!!

Revolving Credit said...

Isn't a bin liner like a really big condom??

Revolving Credit said...

Maybe that only holds true if you're a garbage man with a really long shlong.