Rumour has it that I am back online. I have heard this rumour before. Some time around 3.30pm Friday when 76 emails came crashing through.
A week and approximately an hour after I went offline.
I hurt my back slightly, but man, I toned my arms up gorgeously by carrying an entire office down the stairs, up a few hills, and plonked it all down in a sweet little suburb that I spent a good few decades of my life trying to escape. Ah well, life works in mysterious and poorly-humoured ways, I guess…..when one has no internet for a week, one has time to become reflective and philosophical.
And why have we not have internet for a week?!? So predictably, dear fcked-up monopolising unprofessional de-prided oil-tanker-slow TELKOM forgot to appointment our ADSL line when they gave us phone lines. Then stuck us at the back of a new queue. And now apparently have no record of our new reference number. Thank god for wireless. And please, dear god whoever you are, bring on the competition.
So did you all miss me? I did notice though all you lazy bastards didn’t even manage to post off any of the requested chocolates and bottles of champagne. Although our national postal system has been known to resemble our national bastard useless telephone company.
My week of technological-liberated life was a thrill a minute – caught up on sleep and food. Sushi. Mmmm. I did a lot of filing and deleting and paper tearing. And novel reading & FINALLY finishing “Life of Pi”. A great book. In my reflective opinion.
And then the weekend hit and I held my friend’s day old baby. My friend told me I pick up babies like a white chick. She then reminded me why adoption so sounds like the better option.
I played with 3 week old German Shepard puppies to choose two for a surprise xmas present. My family names our pets after shoes. Strange tradition, yes, but so be it. Have any suggestions??
Fell on my ass while dancing on a sopping tiled floor. It was sopping because a guy decided to slide across it on his knees with a flower in his mouth to give to his girlfriend on the other side of the patio. Luckily I had been suiping on punch throughout the day in anticipation of such silliness and the fall was softened by numb drunk nerves.
Kept Cheers’ing and Cheek-Smooching my friend goodbye. I have known her for as many decades as I have tried to escape this suburb. She’s off to swish her African summer away in an American winter. Fool.
Slept in my own flat on Saturday night….progress! Might have had something to do with having to see my father first thing on Sunday morning, and I like to preserve his denying image of me being a sweet innocent booze-free little pigtailed girl.
Then I went to Zoo Lake to drink champagne for breakfast and get stoned listening to friends play some excellent retro music. Although granted, when one is stoned most music does take on the appearance of being the next Bob Marley. Even the birds’ twittering & squawking sounded like heaven-inspired melodies.
Fly, don’t worry though, I was completely sober when I thoroughly enjoyed & was impressed by your tunes at Fuel Café on Thursday night!! Jam was sweet enough to escort me there to ensure I made it into NewTown alive and unlost. Thanks babe!
And there was more, but now I have to smack some internet technician on his head and say, it is all well & great to have internet back for random banter, but I need emails too, cause my boss is back in the office and expecting me to start working for my salary.
Ha, he needs to do more reflecting maybe, and make some enlightened ideas on what I really do during daylight week hours.