Equal

I went to my usual yoga class last night. Orange robs and chanting and urging me to put my legs a bit further behind my head. All great fun. I love it.

It helps that my classes are completely gender-equal. And it is not just older crazy German guys who chuckle away & make nonsensical comments throughout the hour & a half. But also nicely-toned younger guys. Ooooh baby. Ooooh baby. There is something about a supple vegetarian shaved-head man being able to lie flat against his left leg, and touch his nose to his shin….

….. ANYWAY…. Last night we had to do extra chanting. It was a little odd. It was even odder when the new instructor guy kept helping only me to restructure my poses & ignored the girls who were busy tripping up & getting knotted. Why was he bothering with me? Did he not notice the “Plastered Around Italy – Drinking Tour ‘96” t-shirt I had on?! Granted it’s not mine, but if I now have it in my possession it means I hang out with such toxicating karma-insulting reprobates, let alone indulge in such practices myself.

And then he’d compliment me on my cobra position. It is all about how I stick my tongue out to touch my chin!

He explained to us that the vibrations from the chants would unblock energies in our souls that can be very powerful. People have even been known to burst out crying during such classes. Oh great. A chuckling sobbing German is just what I need to be focusing on as I try to “be The Tree”!

Don’t ask me what all that chanting was about, but my left shoulder blade today is in a slight amount of pain today. If it persists I am going to commence back-rolling along this office carpet. My colleague is already certain I am “touched’ so she won’t mind. Plus she is Zambian, so maybe she’ll just put it down to a white African youth “thing”.

Straight after class I did the very therapeutic & inner-peace thing, and poured a coupla GnTs down my detoxed system. Apparently an hour later I appeared stoned. I preferred to drawl that this Spaced-Outness was meaning I was At-one-with-the-energies”….now pleeeeasse call that waiter over again….

And then my dear friend told me he had finally told his mother that he is gay. I am so happy for him. I am so proud! Fck. His family are very strictly conservative Afrikaans. Think Witbank en rugby en braaivlies en all daardie kuk, né His mom said she loves him no matter what, and for ages had assumed he was. I love parents like that. Thank you my dear friend’s mom!

Then he & I spoke about the whole new law giving gay men & women the ability to marry. He theorises that the absence of such a legal right is what has allowed the community to be so frivolous in their sexual behaviour for so long.

I said….Welcome to the concept of “The Shelf” baby. HA HA! You’re screwed! And only in a monogamous way now!