Friday, November 10, 2006

Happy to be proved wrong

I was once told I would hate the NGO world. I laughed and said I still had to try it out. I tried it out. I hated it. It made me a whole lot more cynical than many people could have thought possible.

Eg. Before I even worked for money-sucking cryptic humanity-manipulating NGOs (yes, yes, not ALL of them are), I once received one of those emails saying some kid had some lung/prostate/third arm issue & if you sent the mail on a dollar would be donated to her. I hit REPLY ALL & said that if you are so keen to help kids, just mail me and I will give you various charities’ numbers & bank details. My sender friend was NOT impressed. Ah well. Live in reality, I replied.

ANYWAY… last night my cynicism was out in full force. And where better to unleash it than onto those unsuspecting quarto fromagio Top Billing presenters and their excerpts. I caught their piece on the George Charity Ball. I wanted to be ill just looking at all the decadence that went into that one night, while cheery old Mike praised it for being “voted the 5th top annual social event IN THE WORLD”.

Please can someone sit me down & explain the concept of a Charity Ball to me.

Spend millions to raise thousands to distribute to less than a few hundred poor kids.

Venue being the millionaire golf club. Did Faincourt charge for the venue or donate it free & then give their usual rental fee to the Welfare kids?

Ball gowns being made by top SA designers. Did Mr Kluk & the gang design these free of charge & donate the usual charges to the George Welfare?

Centrepieces made of flowers frozen in water/ice. But not any old water. All water had to be purified. Did the decorator include the kids in this fun exercise, or did he spend all his energy & time doing this on his own. Bet the kids would have far more appreciated his team spending their time on the kids. And how much did those tulips cost? Nothing, obviously, this is for charity!

Ha!

You get my point. Right?

So much time, money, energy spent on celebs who already are privileged with time, money, energy.

Straight after this item was an ad for this whole Night Of The Stars thing happening this month. I don’t know too much about it. I just know Ronan Keeting has been talking a lot on the radio, about how to stay humble. My cynicism ran amuck here too.

If I have figured this correctly, it is the public that are expected to fork out loads of our hard earned cash on tickets. Does all of our cash go straight to the intended beneficiaries?? Or is it like paying our taxes, and a few guys along the way take a few gold pennies for “admin” fees, for necessary armour-plated Mercs, for lunches at top Sandton restaurants…well politicians and charity workers do need to eat right!

But let alone this…what with this being a charity event, I am assuming these uber-wealthy celebs are paying for their own flights. Their own accommodation. Their own admin fees. No cost is being left up to the intended charity or well-meaning organisers to fork out. (Not if my NGO experience has anything to say about it.)

Surely this is right?? Surely already ridiculously-rich celebs are not benefiting off charity events taking place in third world countries.

Surely.

Then I went back to reading my book, “The State of Africa”.

Happy weekend!!!
This weekend, give the lady cleaning the disgusting club bathrooms a tip, and a chat, and your leftover 4-star restaurant meal to the car guard or the guy at a robot. If nothing else, it will abate my (hypocritical) cynicism for awhile.

Now I am going back to listening to sweet Bob singing about how every little thing's gonna be aaaalright....this is my message to youhooohooooo....singin donne worreee, cuzz everee leetle thing is gonna be allraaaght

101 comments:

ChewTheCud said...

three little birds, pitch on my doorstep, singing sweet songs, of melodies pure and true.....

haha champers - thats an awesome song.

People are greedy - fact of nature. Ties in with survival. You won't get celebs dishing out cash without throwing them an elaborate ball to stroke egos and show off. Everyone will always say "What's in it for ME?"

JAm said...

I've been to one celeb ball and I confess, I was also rather cynical about the whole affair. It was really weird actually - seemed more like an excuse to have an expensive party. Perhaps they're just so bored they don't know what else to do - or lack the imagination and the TRUE ability to be philanthropic.
I'll be tipping the women in the bathrooms this weekend then. Promise.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, every l'il thing's going to be all right....even in a world where tragic circumstances can be turned into "top social events".

"Let me put my arms around your head
Gee, it's hot, let's go to bed
Don't forget to turn on the light
Don't laugh babe, it'll be alright"
- David Bowie rest of great lyrics

Revolving Credit said...

Let me guess, what you're actually trying to say is that when you left yesterday, all hot and bothered, planning to jump some unsuspecting hotty and give him one for the team, youdidn't score?

Is that you were in such a miserable and cynical mood?

Was Daedalus not still propping up the bar counter?
This sexual frustration does seem to be making a good few people very tense.

Is this is all Peas's fault for not shagging Uncertain?

Anonymous said...

The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Do you think Donald Trump pays for his dinners? I reckon restaurants just love having him there 'It's on us, please do visit us again,' they grovel...

ChewTheCud said...

koekie thinks rich people eat for free... ;P

Champagne Heathen said...

Chews - I actually think I am an idealist stuck in a cynic's body...cause while trying to reply to your comment I keep thinking, but can't they be intelligent enough to realise!?!?!?

Jam - thanks! And I think the title "Charity Ball" means exactly that - an excuse for a fancy party. But I really don't see why they don't just drop the "Charity" from the title and be open about such events. Nobody could care if they just held a decandent ball. Why be intentionally hyprocritical?!

ATW - it is the only way we can keep pushing ahead, if we maintain the ideal that every little thing is going to be alright. That Idealist stuck in a cynic's body thing again.
Will check out the lyrics.

[Didn't Kyk blog on this recently...that this makes me a pessimist.]

Rev - I actually was going to add some of that into the post, but I am doing my best to get my posts shorter. Actually, after yoga I did feel pretty kuk. Couldn't figure out if I just bent a little too far back in one bend (the crack and snap might've been a clue) or if I just unleashed some trapped negative energy. Let's see what this w.end holds & maybe we'll have answers to your question of cause on Mon morning!

Koeks - AUGH! And don't even get me started on the Freebies the celebs receive!! Do you see what the party packs at the Oscars include. They must each cost hundreds of dollars. I guess that's the only good reason for being a celeb. Well, that and having a pack of shaggable fans one step behind you!

kyknoord said...

Seeing as we're trotting out the lyrics, how about "...hoping for the best, but expecting the worst..." (circa 1982, I'm too lazy to look it up)? By my reckoning, that does make you a pessimist.

Daedalus said...

Hey Rev...!... I saw that.

Champagne Heathen said...

Kyk - Ha! Excellent! I understood your concepts of pessimist vs. optimists.
1982?!? I could barely hear then. You have to at least mention who sang it.
(Man, Bob really does get the edge off. I have been listening to him all morning, and I just have a goofy grin and slight sway now!)

Daed - sorry for you & your power over me!...and I waited at that bar for so long...but this grumpy mood ain't a result of frustration. ....actually, i was going to say more, but then realised I might put my foot in it...

Daedalus said...

Champs,
We waited at different bars methinks.

Champagne Heathen said...

Aaaah, Daeds, you wanted to be hunted :)

Daedalus said...

Champs,
Always. ;)
I'll run a bit slower,
...just for you hun ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Well, that is one of the terms of the agreement....the slow part.
(AKK! - we are getting back to this convo, aren't we! Now just wait till Rev gets ahold of it!)

ChewTheCud said...

rev can be like a dog with a bone sometimes.....

Daedalus said...

Daedalus covers his bone.
No Rev! ... bad boy...
heel!, sit!, stay! Nay!

Champagne Heathen said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Although you worrying me now about why you are refering to it as a bone at present...maybe you should lay off the porn sites (bloggers' commenting) for awhile.

Jam said...

Champs, are you stalking again?

Champagne Heathen said...

I'm just looking for a plaything this w.end. Don't want to get lonely when all the couples go home to shtoik & all. Someone just to uhhh....drink at the bar with me ;)

Jam said...

Drink...with you at the bar?
Hahaha.

Daedalus said...

Hmmm… Just used the "bone" analogy because of the previous comment...

Errrr… [STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF DAEDALUS]

Ak!! … I am off to the far East Rand this weekend DAMN!

ChewTheCud said...

Champagne and Chocolate - nice! Champagne mixed with Jam - weirdness...

Jam said...

Champs, CCC just called us weird...

ChewTheCud said...

I'm not this CCC guy - but you telling me that champagne and jam mix well?

Jam said...

I meant CTC!
Of course we mix well.

ChewTheCud said...

I'll believe it when I try it ;P

Daedalus said...

Chew,
I C you are more and more in the same firing line as I am across the blog-sphere :o

Champagne Heathen said...

Jam - I know. Drinking with me at the bar. What a CRAZY notion. You were referring to THAT being the crazy notion. Not the plan I shrowded into this euphemism?!

Daed - gawd. How far is the FAR east rand. That thought just scares me. Brakpan? Why on Earth? And ja, you have officially lost your playmate chances for this w.end now!

CTC - you should just see how well we mix. And I ain't talking about edibly. Well, just about edibly! ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Yes, but Daed, he seems to love willingly putting himself there!

ChewTheCud said...

daed - lol i reckon we'd be legend mates dude! ;)

Anonymous said...

dudees, how dare you ahve a conversation while I'm out getting druink.

LIquid lunches rock. And quitting rocks too cos you rewlly done't care.

and I'm bnot correcting thgis typng. So htere.

happy fireday!~

ChewTheCud said...

I always aim to please champers ;P

Daedalus said...

Noooo Champs!...
I merely already made plans for the weekend – the folks live in Bed-Springs, even further than Brakpan. (Remember, Brakpan is the official Springs Zoo – they’ve put a fence around it)
[I want my playmate moment, ahhhh!]

Champagne Heathen said...

Koeks - HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!! And more NB - CONGRATULATIONS!!! And considering the state you are in...best you jump right into the convo...the talk is fine!

Chews - you'd have to be. You hang out with people like me and Jam and co.

Champagne Heathen said...

Chews - good. You just keep that practice up!

Daed - I'm sorry, but a girl has to have some form of criteria, and mine is to not play with mates not even in the same city as me, let alone at the same barcounter.

Well, that's a lie actually, but then I don't have your phone number...*shutting up*

Jam said...

Hahaha. Koekie is wasted.
I didn't miss your euphemism for one moment, dear Champs...

Champagne Heathen said...

That's cause we work so well together my dear Jam!

ChewTheCud said...

OK - rev still not here and champers is giving me absolute gems to make fun - aaargh! torture!!! Must... restrain... dirty... comment.... aargh!!!

Daedalus said...

Champs,
Hahaha... Daedalus lives in JHB. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Why on earth would you feel the need to restrain from commenting in anyway?? Have I recently given the impression that that is required in this space??

Champagne Heathen said...

Yes, but apparently not THIS w.end. And well, this w.end is all that matters to me right now. You gotta be in the right place @ the right time with a classy chick like me!

Jam said...

Yeah - what's all this tame "I cannot say a dirty thing" stuff?

Daedalus said...

Daedalus curse:
Life is not about choices, it is about timing. ;-)

ChewTheCud said...

ok then - champers and jam work so well together? which goes into what first? does jam go into champagne first? or is it the other way around?

Champagne Heathen said...

Yes, well, Springs' timing has become famous as being 'a little off'! But you choose to hang out in such time warps!

(My mom, dear resident of that mining town might have my neck for such comments. Actually no, she would have my neck for making her town of birth so public!)

Champagne Heathen said...

Considering the consistencies, I'd think champagne would go over jam, then eventually around, and finally the two would mingle together to create a fascinating concoction.

The two people who go by these nicknames, meanwhile, go brilliantly side-by-side at a bar counter with wine and the such close at hand!

Jam said...

Well put, Champs.

Revolving Credit said...

That sounds sooo lesbian!
You and Jam going to create a fascinating conCOCKtion?...hehehe

Still @ client working, this is going to be a late Fri, fuck.

ChewTheCud said...

yes well done - cold showers all round people? ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

REV! Where have you been! Mygod, just look at the type of convo we have to try to construct without you to project manage! And as for yesterday's organising. I am still trying to go that alone and he just refused to give me c.card details. This is YOUR job.

Man, I really hope your client doesn't need you to focus on what's they're saying to you. Or that none of you guys even have to stand up & walk across the open office for awhile ;)

Jam said...

Trust you, Rev, to appear and just put it all up like that!

Anonymous said...

koekie - It couldn't have been too hectic a lunch otherwise you couldn't have got the squiggly word verification code right to post your comment. I think champs enabled word verification for the very purpose of keeping the drunkards out. Takes out the fund doesn't it?

Damn, I do need a beer or 12. Best that SAA has a stock of cold ones for my flight into the big smoke tonight. Must run, plane to catch. Have a wonderful weekend all.

Daedalus said...

Revo'ooooooo! LOL... I am sinking dewd!

Revolving Credit said...

How touching, you missed me!

Now stop touching yourself and carry on teasing Chewy.

Champagne Heathen said...

But Chews is not being communicative enough....here Chewy Chewy Chews....come and play little guy...

ChewTheCud said...

just got out of the shower - anyone miss me ;P

ChewTheCud said...

"little guy"? ohohohoho - I can tell I'm going to have to educate champers sometime...

Champagne Heathen said...

HEY!!! I DID NOT mean playing with that little guy!!!

You just go and have a shower and next time come out with some clothes on!

ChewTheCud said...

I always shower in the nude - I know its weird but I find I wet less clothes that way.

And I know you don't play with little guys - with champers its either go big or go home ;P

Champagne Heathen said...

You are more than welcome to shower how you want. What I was implying is that when you walk out of the shower, be clean and dressed and acceptable to polite company such as myself ;)

Less "go big or go home" and more like, "You big, we go home"!

Jam said...

Or you too big, I go home.

ChewTheCud said...

always clean champers - you want i should shave or something?

your house or mine?

Revolving Credit said...

The Great Escape - Now I'm really going to piss you guys off.

ChewTheCud said...

too big? whatever does that mean jam? we were not aware that such a thing existed?

Revolving Credit said...

Chewy - Golden Shower? Trying not to piss in your pants are you.

Revolving Credit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Champagne Heathen said...

Jam - Ha Ha!

The Great Escape?? You leaving us & your client to fend for ourselves? Or what is escaping from where??

Chews - Oh TRUST me, there is such a thing...*Shut up, Champs*. Sooooo.....nice weather we are having on this here Friday...um.....

Champagne Heathen said...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH avert eyes, avert eyes......

REV!!!

Jam said...

What? You've never been scared and run away? Like DON'T bring THAT near me, because it would be more like giving birth??

ChewTheCud said...

ok - thats horrible rev. COLD shower. But has anyone ever had a champagne shower? i wonder....

Revolving Credit said...

Not only did I manage to escape from the client, but I'm now sitting at Buena Vista in Greenpoint, Ciggie lit, half beer left in front of me, laptop out and blogging.

ChewTheCud said...

lol - you bastard rev. say hi to my brother if yo se him there.

Revolving Credit said...

Is that your brother 'sucktheudder'?

Champagne Heathen said...

Jam - you may have missed the convo 2 days ago. Even the mention of some forms of sexual practices make me run a mile. Just ask Chews for that website!

And - pretty much. Relationship didn't last long. I'll explain more over that double GnT.

Do I want to know what a champagne shower is!?!?!? If it is kinky, but "clean", then YES!!! (She claims having NO clue what he means).

Rev - bastard.

Champagne Heathen said...

Seriously....bastard!

Jam said...

I'm sure I have to be somewhere. Have a good one everyone.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, first beer done.

Chewy, based on todays comments I have a BONE to pick with you...hahah

ChewTheCud said...

My brother looks very much like me - just look for the guy with the bulge in the front of his pants...

lol - champers would probably prefer a champagne bath... ;P

Revolving Credit said...

'Bastard', that so cute.

Thats like in FAT BASTARD, the wine ? right?

Revolving Credit said...

Your brother has droopy tits???
WTF??

Champagne Heathen said...

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG! Why Rev!? Why toy with me like this!?!

Yes, Rev, and apparently it was Daed's bone!

Chews - your brother is the bergie there by Green Point Traffic Dept?!?! Interesting. I didn't really catch the resemblance, till now.

And start explaining these champagne shower/ bath/ cleansing things....

ChewTheCud said...

yup - dragging on the ground, saggy ass tits. It's a miracle we get around so much. If I didn't have my Tit-Trolleys I don't know what would become of me ;P

Revolving Credit said...

Chewy idea of a Champagne bath is that you come around to his place and bathe him.

Revolving Credit said...

Chewy, just as long as it's not your nut sack dragging on the ground. Accidently stepping on them boys is not kosher.

ChewTheCud said...

Much the same style as cleopatra, we would have hot serving girls fill a bath with dom perignon, and you would immerse yourself, dining on fine chocolates till such time as you had had your fill ;) Then they would sponge you dry and massage your body with scented oils... Not sure how to squeeze Jam in there - but jam squeezes easy ;P

ChewTheCud said...

lol - I like rev's idea better ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Jam covered cherrys?

ChewTheCud said...

why not just cherry jam rev?

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev - oh.

Hmmmmm.

Where's the fun in that for me.

AAAAhhhhh, see, I like Chews explanation of it. Fascinating to see he even added group lesbian orgies into it. Just how I like a quiet night in my bath.

You've been squeezing Jam lately. Oooo. I know some people who might not like that sort of talk!

I even winced at that idea about stepping on your nuts.

Rev, how's the next beer going? How is dear Green Point looking? (*sob*)

Revolving Credit said...

1 and half beers gone - I'm eyeing a cigar?

R U going to be less depressed this weekend than yoy seemed this morning?

If you're feeling angry, use a wire brush when scrubbing Chewy's back.

Greenpoint in lufly. About 26c light breeze, no cloud.

Haven't seen Sucktheudder yet.

Champagne Heathen said...

I have a certain friend already ordering a double GnT for me close by, so best I be off! Damn, she did get there quickly!

Rev, I will do my best to be one smiley chirpy chappie on Monday morning. Even if my required locations unlikely mean I will be any less frustrated (ManHat, West Rand, Colony). Maybe I should finally give in & just head past Adult World.

.....Naaaa, there are always young 'uns to corrupt & break their hearts to teach them life lessons & be remembered & spoken about forever by them. Like those french films. (Fri afternoon = tangent time)

He can't be hard to spot...he's got his tits in trollies!!

And you be good over there in the good old Cape. Muchos Smoochos!!

Revolving Credit said...

You and Jam have a fun old lesbian (shit did I say that out loud) time!!

Enjoy and I hope to see you all smiles on Mon.

PS. Say hi to Jack/john

Anonymous said...

what a way to hit the nail on the head! Well said champers!

It makes me sick how people are so extravagant & don't take the time to appreciate the fuck-off kiff city shit that they have!

You know, we're paying our domestic worker's son's school fees for next year (it's only R40) & two of the digsmates have turned around & said they can't contribute because they can't afford it?!?!?! Sorry what...you buy shampoo that costs more than three years of education! Makes me sick how people aren't willing to help out just a little bit! I can't wait to give her triple that amount that she needs as well as most of the stuff from my digs bedroom! I don't need it, now why must I go sell it & make a small profit that I'll blow on booze! The other digsmate looked at me with a slight dof expression on her face!

Well said though...totally agree with you with all that was said.

Hoorah!

Daedalus said...

Shit!, this is comment 94 :o

Anonymous said...

A few days later... but it must be said:

Crikey, blokes.

Marketing Geek said...

Daaaaamn there's alot of commenting going on here!!

I'm on the board of an NGO that does these type of events... and I agree that they're seeeriously innefficient.
We spend hundreds of thousands of rands to raise a few thousand... but what is important is raising awareness for alot of the causes amd the important role NGOs play in creating employment.

Champagne Heathen said...

Hello Marketing Geek! Welcome.
Yes, it was a Friday. People tend to use blogs like chatrooms the closer it gets to w.ends, especially when the host of the blog is so full of shite in her commenting!

Good point on these at least raising awareness, but I fear people use it to ease their "guilt". They could do so much more, if presented with possibilities or if their minds weren't quietened so easily by Moet champagne etc. It's an easy solution.

Although, it could be argued back, that they are not willing to participate AT ALL in more involved activities, so at least we get them here.

I am calm and uncynical today, so if I carry on, I will just twist myself in circles.

(Koeks - on rereading all this banter - definitely: Crikey!!)

Marketing Geek said...

Haha... I wish people would use my blog as a forum! ah, 90+ comments... that's when you know you've arrived in the blogosphere! Check out Roberts comment here for a laugh: http://daveduarte.co.za/are-women-better-bloggers/2006/10/22/

Champagne Heathen said...

Good work here MG, you almost have me up to my 1st 100 comments on a post!

The trick is to banter in other people's comments. Then they realise you have a slow day/job & that you often will get back to their comments fairly soon, so that it becomes like a convo. Plus, the more lighthearted the post, the more chance of playing with the words & topics.

No, you know you've arrived in this crazy blog world when you have actually met several blog people (in my case, by pure chance) in the real world & they are now good friends!! Odd odd world this is that I just fell into.

Ah dear Rob - yes, I remember his insecurity of that posting! Poor dear boys. I think I even commented there.

Marketing Geek said...

Ok, well if you reply just one more time then you're up to 100 comments!

I'm damn busy today but I'm procrastinating by commenting here!!! I've got to give a formal speech at 6 o'clock and I've written about 30 seconds worth of it.. eeps!

I'm gonna b more conversational in my blog in future. Jam left an awesome comment too. (thanks Jam).

(btw. blogs are a GREAT way to meet people - I think that's one of the primary benefits for me!)

Champagne Heathen said...

Congrats MG!! My 1st 100th commenter!!! I feel like a bottle of bubbly should be popped for something so special.

As for procrastinating through blogs...welcome to the blog world! And all the dangers it holds! Be careful!

Good luck with the speech!

Ah, that's my Jam! She's a clever one. And there is one example of meeting GREAT people through this world. She has become a good friend since I met her in the real world about 6 weeks ago & I think I have seen her every w.end but 1 (when she was out of town) since that.

I see you have Rob back to posting on this topic. Ha ha. I don't know what he is so stressed about, he has all the hot chicks commenting on his blog all the time!