Friday, December 15, 2006

End Note

I realise on my last blogging day of 2007 and after not having blogged in a good few days, I am meant to write something witty. Or sentimental. Or profound.

But I also realise a person is not meant to arrive at their place of employment two hours late. On their last day. Reaking only a little of tekwila & champs. With an odd grin on their face, cause they are still a little drunk. And wearing a Christmas hat.

Luckily a colleague pulled me aside as I entered the building and sorted me out a bit. She took the hat off.

Oh, this is going to be one loooooooooooooooooooooooong last day. Where are those curry leftovers??

Oh, and a very very Merry Christmas, a fabulous New Years, and I'll see you all with smooches in 2007.

(Oh gawd. I think I was giving a crazy lesbian chick cheek smooches last night! Right before some Scotsman took my cocktail out of my hand and complained to management that it was poor quality and surely did not have enough alcohol. Nice Scotsman that was. Not nice in that way. But nice that he was concerned about my festive drinking. Where is that curry....????)

[Update: I meant 2006 somewhere in this post. Not 2007. Or did I??? Where the hell is that curry?????]


Anonymous said...'re obviously still a bit oiled...Champs, it's still 2006 and you're wanting to created your lst post of 2007 ?????
Best you put the hat back on, pull it over your eyes and take a bit of a nap.

(PS. Beta Blogger is pomped, it won't let me login)

Koekie said...

HAHAHAHAH! Love it... doing it in style Champers.

Actually, by the sound of things, you won't be doing much in style today...

Rev, have been having similar login problems. Thought it was the malicious gods picking on me again.

Champagne Heathen said...

Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la laaaaa la la la laaaaa!

I do not know what is up with the Beta blogger thing. That's all I know.

My colleague is trying to have a coherent sensible convo with me right now. What do I do?????

Good point Rev. Where is that hat?? It obvious is hiding out with the curry leftovers.

Anonymous said...

With you on the curry. Waiting for the hangover to kick in still.

Alas can't say its my last day. Have the pleasure to do another week....

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie, why are you not guiness anymore. I am praying there is not time for the hangover to kick in. Someone pleeeeeease bring me a GnT. Ask the guiness drinker to be sweet and do me this favour on his way to the airport......

My mom just sms'd & asked me to buy a PlayBoy for Xmas. I kid you not. Then my boss sent me a mail saying I have one last task before year end..."Please see if you can anyone"...WHAT?!?! I have to what with anyone now. I didn't realise we are THAT sort of organisation.

Oh please dear god can someone bring me a coke!!

Unknown said...

Curry and tequila - good luck girl.
Glad to hear Christmas started early for you. Find anything with alcohol content to hold off hangover til tonight. Try mouth wash, syrgical spirits, but stay clear of meths.

Working til 12 today, then have to kill time til Zoo Lake party. Is there somewhere nearby I can chill in the meanwhile?

Anonymous said...

We had our office function yesterday. I was able to weasel out it with the "I have a deadline" excuse. Sadly, it happened to be true.

Anonymous said...

Not more guinness, is what I ment.
Mental note, there is a reason for guinness being marked down at a pub. Something similar to never buy anything on sale.

Think you should ask the guinness drinker to bring the GnT. Something tells me you may be convincing ;-)

Your mom wants the playboy, or she wants it for someone, but is too shy to get it herself?

Peas on Toast said...

Happy Happy Champers!

Here's to a fantastic Christmas and New Year with lots of tekwila and...curry, if the urge arises. :)

Thanks for being an ongoing bloggy buddy, and catch you in the 'sphere when 2007 clocks in. May it be a good one.

Champagne Heathen said...

Lolls, actually the curry is from 2 nights ago. The bottle of tequila is from last night. Why on earth we thought it up, I don't know!!! Yes! You can chill at my office....just entry requirements involve a bottle of gin & a bottle of tonic.

Kyks - my office function was much better behaved then what happened last night. I'll send Peas down with a bottle of tekwila for you to have a state of mind to no longer give a damn about deadlines!

Guinnie....abf?? Remember I am not too clearheaded today. Only small slow talk today please. I'll test your theory out...I've put in the request. My mom wants it for the Xmas dinner table. Yes, we are that sort of family!

Peas - and all that to you too!! Muchos Smoochos!

Koekie said...

Champers, I guess it goes without saying that you will be fully recovered by this evening... just in time for a few slippery drinks with fellow bloggers?

Anonymous said...

When you say that your mom wants a Playboy for the Xmas dinner table, does that mean that she wants:

a) A copy of the Playboy magazine
b) A hot centrefold in bunny ears and tail
c) An X-rated playboy DVD
d) A hot boy to actually play with

My mind now starts to wonder round the possible Xmas dinner permutations these options may provide.

Anonymous said...

ABF: Absolute Bloody Final.
No prize for guessing AABF :-)

Otherwise its just another TLA

Let me know how the door to door delivery pans out.

"My mom wants it for the Xmas dinner table. Yes, we are that sort of family!"
What your freakish family does not eat by the TV?

Champagne Heathen said...

Koeks - I am thinking I might for once in my life start being sensible!! and go snooze.

(My colleague just bought me a coke. I love her. I really really really love her.)

Rev - the 1 christmas I missed apparently there was a black dildo on the table. So your guess is as good as mine! There was also a little toy nun that spat fire at the dildo. I sang (drunkenly) for their souls in xmas midnight mass.

(Does anyone here know anyone travelling in Tanzania. I just received an sms from someone travelling in Tanzania!?!?!?!?)

Guinnie - apparently the delivery service is slacking. Not even a confirmation or order # or anything. I better get the order free. It is def. over 45 minutes late!

35 drunk people couldn't fit around the tv.

Anonymous said...

So 35 drunk people can't fit around a TV, yet they can fit around a nun spitting fire at a black dildo?

Champs all that emotion for coke? What exactly are we talking about here?

BTW the curry worked like a bomb. We need a 24hr curry den. For that matter, try find phuza after four on a Thursday in JHB.

Champagne Heathen said...

What is this "Phuza Thursday" thing that the morning dj is carrying on about everyday?!?!

(Ow ow ow. Headache attack.)

COCA COLA!! Not any dodgy other stuff. And it is a very emotional, being hungover!

When there is sex & religion involved, my family & friends can do almost anything!

Anonymous said...

mmm.napping on couch with wireless connection and laptop. mmmm.

Champagne Heathen said...


My company is making me drink in an hour and a half, at least.

Ooooo coke wearing off. Room spinning.

I won't be too difficult to miss today, I am the chick wearing the Xmas hat!

Anonymous said...

Phuza Thursday is just that. However while the phuza stays constant the Thursday does not.
How many hangovers must a man/woman have, before the call them a drunk/lush. (Sorry the best Bob Dylan I can come up with).

Oh! you mean your colleague Charlie ;-)

Sex, religion, family. Did not realise I switched over to Ricky Lake.

Anonymous said...

Actually it's so frikkin' hot I'd almost rather be in an office drinking with aircon. Quick! Put your head between your knees...

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - huh??? Slow simple words in here today. What is "just that". That has not been explained yet. I have NO friend or colleague or anyone in my life called Charlie. Charlie has not been allowed into my building.

Jams - you getting kinky there with that comment?? You can come and drink here with me if you like... It's hot?? I am in the COLD shivering stage of the hangover.

Champagne Heathen said...

Ooooo, go and read darling Rob's post that I inspired today!

And yes, that is the word 'lesbian' in there!

Anonymous said...

Specially for you ;-)
See the SA section.

Not sure what is worse my new blogging addiction, my old addiction to wikipedia, my hangover, my .......

"getting kinky there with that comment, you can come and drink here with me if you like... It's hot"
Oh how punctuation changes the meaning :-)

Anonymous said...

I think Jam was saying that with all this drinking on a hangover you should stick yoour head between your legs and kiss your ass good bye....

...unless she was advocating you put someone elses head between your legs, never realised you were feeling that bad that you needed mouth to mouth

...or is that mouth to muff??

..enjoy/survive the Absolute blogfest!

Carlz said...

now that sounds like it was a damn good party!

Anonymous said...

That sounds about right for your last day at work for them. Hope you have a good one and only sober up after X-Mas

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - well, yes, everyone in this blogging world is fully aware of me & punctuation terms...pulling out all the stops!! Ha ha!

Rev - aaah CPR - Causing P Relief. I'll let you figure out the P. I am shy and polite this afternoon!

Best you are on a plane right now about to arrive in Jozi and immediately come and drink for us! I'll make Peas have a tekwila for you!

Carlz - Oh and it was. I found out we left the final club at 4.30. And I have just suiped down a sweet savanna. Let it recommence!

Spider - Thanks Babe! It def. is looking like this un-sober festive season is possible! And to you too!

Anonymous said...

Is that only punctuation marks eh?

Anyway have a lekker weekend, and a great holiday. Will miss the blogging.

KaB said...

oh deary me...did you find the curry?

Hat of to god, how do you get out of bed! I'll have to learn the ways of the world.

But Merry Xmas Champs - glad to have come across your blog this year! It's a real hoot!

Anonymous said...

YOU... young lass... have been holding out on me.

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - how are you holding up there without your new addiction!?! You know us well enough to know if that's only in punctuation terms!! Or do you know us well enough.... he he he!

Kabs - And it has been great getting to know you on here! Oh, trust me, I found that curry!! It was eaten within seconds.

Hazard, you hunk of a man! That is what brazen hussies are meant to do! Hold out on you. He he he! Welcome! Finally! Big Smooches!