Monday, March 05, 2007

What was in that ONE drink?

These newly scheduled 7am Monday morning French classes are proving interesting. I am being forced by a hyperactive Gaulic woman to think before 10am. AND to think not even in my mother tongue, but in some tongue of romance. I am as romantic as the bluddy Pope in Ankara on Mondays. The worrying thing is actually how talkative & on the ball de fran├žais I am proving to be at this hour.

I think she might be spiking my coffee.

Or perhaps it has to do with me being heavily involved in a bit of French practice at some 3am stage this weekend, thanks to the overfriendliness of a Democratic Republic of Congo man. Nothing like one’s new found ability to parle away after one glass and then some…

Ooo baby, but after this weekend I have decided it is all about the Rosebank clubs! By the end of the night you are left feeling like one of the hottest, most attractive women to have graced Jozi.

Two new phone numbers in my cell, and my number now apparently gracing the contact list of several men. May I add that one phone number belongs to a female who was set on giving it to me. A friend of hers, also female and cute, seemed set on giving something else to me… I was approached during some wild bit of solo dancing mid-club by this chickie, where she proceeded to snuggle herself into my lap, and then rub, twist and dance herself all over me. Much to my surprise and amusement. And the amusement (enjoyment?) of my mates.

I had woken up on Friday morning wanting to cry I was so exhausted. I managed to sweet talk myself into getting up and going and lasting through the day by the assurance that I’d be on my couch by 8pm latest. I had one task, and that was to suip a few drinks at a mate’s chilled birthday celebrations at her flat. I was estimating latest ETA on my couch to be 10pm. This was pushed to 11pm by some good company, conversations, and catch ups.

I then slept-walked my way through Rosebank Mall to my car only to stumble directly upon a sweet friend, and his friend, who were mid-sentence into deciding whether one glass of wine after their movie would go down well. My presence seemed to seal the “just one glass” deal.

I think the shape of the pear started to appear when it was decided that this should happen at Katzies. Two glasses of wine down, a closed bar, and well, I owed them a round…why not head to Divine Lounge next door!

….and that’s where it remained till 4am. Dancing. French speaking. Lesbian contemplating. Wine suiping. Random talking. New friends befriending. Laughing. Enjoying. Number swapping. Ducking into the MENS toilets cause of women’s queues. Tequila-substituting. Stranger flirting. Friend of a friend very suddenly doing a sneaky exit home (and if you're reading this - GREAT to finally meet you! You rock!). All great fun till my sweet tired friend had to take me back to my car.

It was now home time and, in my drunken mind, it was also “deep conversation to finally establish a few things”-time. I can’t say my drunken mind liked what was established, which may have been why the car convo lasted over an hour outside of Fournos.

Damn those “One Drink” nights!

So from 5am till 5pm Saturday I finally found sleep. And a stomach bug. I blame not having tequila for the second weekend in a row. Jack Daniels just does not seem able to kill off the germs like a good old shot of “Ole!” does!

Otherwise, it was arriving late for braais. Chats and chilling. And wine, pizza, and coffee with two of my most darling darlings late into Sunday so as to escape the Sunday night blues. An excellent plan of defence, for future reference.

Otherwise; When my grandmother died, I was given two pairs of her expensive Kurt Geiger sandals. Being the stylish trendy chick I am, I ended up predominantly wearing them in Orange Farm, in the dirt and mud and child-stampeding chaos. Women in that township would often declare that they loved my shoes, and where did I get them from. I’d laugh that these shoes probably cost more than their annual income. This weekend, my puppies chewed to shreds one Kurt Geiger sandal.

67 comments:

Guinness "The Messenger" Pig said...

Don't think the friend of the friend reads this, but will pass it on.

Jam said...

;-)
But damn that cup of coffee

ChewTheCud said...

lol. Coffee freaks. You sounded like you'd need it after that scary phone call we had Saturday ;P

Jam said...

And yes, it really made my Sunday night not to be skulking at home.

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - she said she might ask about it. So in case she did...

Jamaloni - BuzzZZZZzZZZzZZZZzzzz

Chews - that phone call was not scary!! It was ENLIGHTENING for you.

Oh, and speaking about that phone call, btw I told Jamaloni that while you think both of us are ridiculously attractive, you'd not shag either of us. My heart is still breaking.

Champagne Heathen said...

Jams - especially the way the 3 of us can twist & turn any convo. Just think of the bed lamp being made into a medical recharger!

Guinness "Espresso" Swine said...

Coffee, that "one" drink? This is more of 8 8 I forget what 8 was for and :-)

Jam said...

Hahahaha. BuzzZzzzzzzzzzz.

Jam said...

Chews - you really think this???

ChewTheCud said...

hahaha! This must be what thin ice feels like ;P

Guinness "Passed on" Piggy said...

Champs sent a mail but as you might have heard things are complicated on that front.

Chewey, thin ice it is, and really easy to fall through.

Peas on Toast said...

Ah...those fanous last words..'just one drink!'

That happened to me last night too. :)

Good up on the numbers Champs. xx

Jam said...

I think I'll refrain from commenting for the rest of the day. There is thin ice in here, as well as a certain degree of frost.

Revolving Credit said...

If you paid more attention to your breasts they wouldn't feel the need to chew on your sandals!

I think you don't have a problem with tequila at all.

Your problem seems to be with saying 'No'!

PS.> Did you just offer Chewy a 3some???

ChewTheCud said...

Rev - This puts the "Do these jeans make me look fat?" conundrum to shame ;)

Champers & Jam - What part of what i said can i safely take back? ;P

Jam - don't believe a word of what Champers said. The pretty ones always lie ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - you're losing me on the eight thing!? Ate? Eight? There has been far too much thinking for me today already.

Chews - he he he. Slip Slide *SPLASH*
Oh, and I never did end up making that phone call, so your theory remains untested...for now. Which means the blog remains quiet...for now.

Guinnie - As far as I know, I know about EVERYTHING now. he he he.

Peas - thanks! And yes, last night also went from one glass to a cellar's worth...hence the need for the coffee!

Jamaloni- all I can say when I think of you today is BUuuuZZZzzzZZzzZZzzZZZZZZZZ

Rev - I am fascinated by the idea of how my breasts could've shredded my sandal. This evening I will test out whether this is possible.

I think my problem is never being given the option to say "No". Everyone knows I am so indecisive that they just lead little ol' astray.

As for Chewy - well, he needed to somehow be rewarded for getting me certain info! I think it was a fair trade, no?

Jam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Champagne Heathen said...

Chews - what are you now saying about how I look in jeans!?!?!? HEY!!

You could take back the part about the only way I can ever find frivilous random relationship-type sex is if it is with a woman. That would work for me.

But I like how you start to save yourself from the last sentence there. Awwwww.

Jam said...

Luckily for me, I have a man who is quite happy to shag me all day. So no offence taken.

Revolving Credit said...

If thats what you offer as a reward for info, I shudder to think how you repay the free tequila givers??

Jam - Did you know that you were being offered/surrendered to Chews??

Jam said...

None whatsoever. Luckily, I'm no longer on offer at all.

Guinness "Confused" Porker said...

You know everything? Hmmm, maybe you should come enlighten me then. I don't know that much.

Don't worry about the eight, read the words when you bored :-) Then again ended up in a really cool club that was no Lemon till L8.

ChewTheCud said...

Champers - ;P

Jam - ;)

Insane Insomniac said...

I feel your pain!!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev - I give them my name! :)

And Jam is my wingwoman. There are rules that come with this role. I just don't think she realised this when she signed the wingwoman contract.

Guinnie - if you are ever in doubt, the answer to all is "42". Or is that just the answer to life??

Chews - so you're not taking that part of that convo back then?? Aaah well, then I'll just have to test out your theory. Hmmmm.

Guinness "Reinforcement" Piggy said...

Funny that seems there is some repeating post happening from a few months back.

ChewTheCud said...

There were a lot of parts Champers. You mean the bit about wanting meaningless meaningful sex? ;P

Jam said...

What contract???? There was no contract...or was there over several glasses of whine?

Revolving Credit said...

Well Chews, she does have a whole container load of condoms.

Maybe stress testing them is part of her job description?

Guinness "Marvin" Pig said...

Champs, you don't know how close 42 is to home.

"Or is that just the answer to life?? " well that is the point, what was the question? Could go on how people obsess about the answer and forget the question, but we all know that.

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - yeaaah, I'm dumb like that. Or is that stubborn. I refuse to learn what I don't feel like learning. It's that brick wall habit.

Chews - Exactly! No commitment, but not so random I forget whose name to scream out.

Jamaloni - he he he. And now you know why we share wine, when you aren't looking!

Guinness "Not so secret" Sow said...

All this talk of wing woman. Who has read The Game.

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev - good point! I need to make a turn past the old Dept. of Health to pick up my next crate. It's been a busy research year already so far! :P

Guinnie - right now the question is where is the sandwich lady with those chocolates!!!
...I figure it's more sensible to keep the big questions simple.

Jam said...

Yes, when I'm not looking...

Guinness "Pig Headed" Hog said...

Champs you and me both.

Phlippy said...

OMG Champers, I knew it was bad, but wowza trousers! ROFLzor, you can never regret a night like that even if the world feels like it is falling out your... the next day...

Babe, when I next go to the Knee for randomness... you are coming with your mates!

Champagne Heathen said...

Insanity - which part of my pain are you feeling now??

Jam - well, you'd start refusing the wine if you were looking!!

Guinnie - here is to simple living!

Phlippy - I tried to tell you! But you were slurrrrring too much! ;)
But one cannot make any plans for a night of random good fun to take place. It must be THAT random.

Guinness "Simpleton" Piggy said...

Simple living? Maybe but with awareness.

Jam said...

Remember Champs - I've spotted you decanting whine before and will spot you again. What you need to watch out for is when I decide to start doing this!

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

No Coment

Guinness "Pun again" Piggy said...

Yip Rob, best not to whine ;-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - awareness...that's why I meditate!

Jamaloni - I count the days to when you start decanting wine into my glass! :) ...or did you mean decanting wine from my glass into yours?? HEY!!

Rob - best you just follow your non-comment up with some delightful comment. Or are you just lost on the thought of that cute chick dancing with gorgeous me!? :)

Guinnie - best not to.

Guinness "The Math Geek Again" Porker said...

Champs, technically if you decant wine into Jam's glass and Jam then decants wine into your glass and you then decant wine into Jams glass.....

Where is the tequila?

Jam said...

If I was getting whine from your glass, I would be siphoning. I meant me pouring whine into yours while you have your back turned.

Guinness "Reply" Piggy said...

Champs the friend of a friend says
"Well - clearly everybody thinks I am lovely."

:-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - No tequila until Easter!!

Jamaloni - then I count the days :)

Guinnie - Aaaaah, sweet!

Guinness "Tequila" Piggy said...

Champs you sticking by that then hey, stronger than most. Guinness is better than tequila anyway, and who know you could even win a trip to Dublin. Just imagine the selection of foreigners there ;-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Guinnie - but foreigners aren't foreigners when they are in their own country though!

Revolving Credit said...

No tequila?

If you don't eat the worm, does it count??

Guinness "Tourist" Porc said...

Well I was thinking of the tourists. Problem is most are American, but there should be others.

Guinness "Tempted" Pig said...

Rev, now you got me biting my tongue

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

Lucky bitch!

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

"Or are you just lost on the thought of that cute chick dancing with gorgeous me!? :)"


Luck bitch!

PS: See the thought made me screw up the previous comment. Bitch!

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

But I am amazingly still a gorgeous Frenchmans pur voux!

Mon cher Champers - c'est le bon!

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev - Shhhhhrrrrlurp!

Guinnie - Americans *shiver*

Rob - it is good to see I can get your words so mixed up & confused just by simple ideas! He he he! :)

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

ideas? *trembling*

*butterflies in tummy*

Guinness "The Guinness" Pig said...

Champs the Americans do have some uses. They can't drink to save their lives so they have a sip of Guinness and then they give it to you. Free drink, and you don't even have to turn your back to get that.

Besides the Americans that actually travel (outside their county) are not always that bad.

Revolving Credit said...

Rob, what's causing the tremble?

Tequila worming or gorgeous chick lap dancing or meaningless sex with Chewy???

Champagne Heathen said...

Roberto - why are you trembling? Just stop thinking those ideas! And then the trembling will stop!

Guinnie - indeed, that is true. I have even been known to live with Americans on several occasions. Even shared a comfy bed with quite a few. Not any that you know of, mind you!

Rev - put those all together & you might have a normal Champers' night out!

Guinness "trembling" Piglet said...

Sharing a bed with several Americans? So guess its true the language of love.

Champagne Heathen said...

Not all at once Guinnie!! And not in that way either! As in, a bed to snooze in during backpacking trips and all.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Guinness "In the know" Pig said...

Yeah right :-)

Robert@iScatterlings.com said...

It was the idea of Chewy and Piglet doing a pole dance a deaux that started the nauseous trembles in me!

Then things took a turn for the worse. The picture in my head chaged and I was up there with Daed!! Oh dear, oh dear.

But my imagination then ran riot and the hall erupted into mayhem when Champers took a turn on the pole! Yeah baby!!

Kevin Cadman said...

HAehaehaea... I've snuck into the lead!

I can see a war starting :P

DaveRich said...

You really bring up the tequila thing a lot, is it guilt...or are you really being a good girl

ChewTheCud said...

note to self

make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them

Champagne Heathen said...

Rob - yeah baby!!

Kevin - you mean the war was not on already?? But I already sent orders for the tanks to surge ahead! Last time I checked I was ahead!!

DaveRich - as good as gold! And yes, I mention it far too much for my own good. I blame my mother really.

Chews - what are you on about crazy boy??