1. You recall turning your alarm off. You close your eyes for 1 minute to roll over. You open them 75 minutes later at 8am. Faaaaaaaaaark!
2. You get to the shower to find NO hot water. And only enough cold water to wet a face clothe. While you are grateful for any water, the cold water does seem to have been piped in from the foothills of Iceland mountains.
3. You speed to work only to hit a traffic jam. At 8.45?? You realise you’re in a roadblock. And suddenly you recall receiving a letter about a week ago from a traffic department demanding you pay for going 12km over the William Nicol speed limit. THIS you do not need. Nonetheless you check where you have stashed your cellphone – not on your lap, and you edge through. Luck kicks in for a split second that morning and you are waved through unscathed.
4. You turn on your computer to discover your entire Microsoft Office has crashed. Thanks to your boss’s “doctoring” attempts the evening before. You have no email. No PowerPoint. Your Word only starts in Safe mode. You are too scared to open Excel.
5. The IT company cannot send anyone over until tomorrow afternoon. At the exact hour you will be boarding a plane to darkest Africa. All they can help you with is to install one free programme, which will allow you to work on the ultimate task of boredom and pain – data inputting. You struggle to ooze gratitude over the phone line to them.
6. You have to drive to Pretoria during your lunch hour.
7. You have to drive to Pretoria because you are doing one gigantium favour for your boss. This favour involves obtaining a non-existent emergency visa to darkest Africa, through visiting an embassy and using your most sickly charm & pidgin French on their top dodgy bureaucrat. You feel slightly dirty by the thought.
8. Your tomorrow morning just looks like one hour on top of another of stressing and racing. You must get back to that embassy by 10am. Collect YOUR BOSS’S visa. (Your own visa having been obtained all in good time!). Get back to Jozi to drop off your car. Collect your bags and broken laptop. Get to the airport on time for an early early afternoon flight.
9. You suddenly realise you have forgotten to start the course of malaria tablets you are meant to be on.
10. You must get through the next morning of stress and pace while your nation is on the largest public strike.
11. You have to be at the Oli Tambo airport on a Friday. The most chaotic of weekdays. On the day that its nation is experiencing its largest public strike. With your boss who is a complete airhead when it comes to travel.
And your only joy is that your arrival in darkest Africa will allow you to have the first hot shower in two days!
[Bad Day Update: Data required for inputting is (was!) saved in Outlook. Even that task cannot finally be commenced. Not sure whether this falls into "moment of luck" or "bad day" category.]