Mates

I have two incredibly good friends from university. I would never have imagined them together at the beginning of my first year of living with them. Now I could never imagine them apart. When catching up with other mates, people always pronounce, “But they’re engaged already, aren’t they?!”.

Nope. But who cares. They are happy just as is.

They’re the kind of good friends that when I go to visit them in London, I am either woken up in the mornings with a cuppa tea and the shopping plans already routed out, or I crawl into the bed between the two for chats.

As people do, the rest of us, their mates, all sit and completely ignorantly dissect their relationship. Will it work? Will it last? Will it result in marriage and kids and sixty years down the line? I once remarked that my only worry was, that such a relaxed happy relationship meant that they had never really fought any demons - so learning how to cope with relation strife…one needs it, to last the years and to deepen the love. A friend said back, yes but, perhaps their very turbulent start settled all of that.

These two friends were originally my digsmates. And her best friend, who also lived in our house (it was one BIG house), was having drunken scoring moments with him. During nights out, we would tease him about this random “screwing the crew” behaviour. He would dodge and dive and buy us drinks. Great!

I can’t say when the (now coupled) two started individually to realise that they felt something for one another. She says she had never considered him like that, as her best friend liked him too much. He’s a guy, dragging info out of him that he is almost certain will hit the chick circuit is still impossible after five years.

But one digs holiday they had some joint realisation. And slowly they started to act on it. Back at the digs, I would be standing in the kitchen, probably hanging over a litre of water wishing for babblelas relief and wondering who I could con into cooking a meal for me, and out of the corner of my eye I would notice him touch her lovingly. HEY!? But I stayed quiet…till we were out and boozing again, and then I would tease both of them mercilessly.

When the others found out, there was hell to pay. The couple was ostracised by the digsmates for several weeks…which meant I had the tv to myself as they doted over one another on the tv-room couch. Man, did I LOVE the start of this relationship. I owed them more than I owed most people in that house, and I loved and respected them, so I was happy to see their relationship emerge and them risk a good deal to be together.

Eventually people accepted it. As I understand, after a few years even the old best friend did.

And now the two are still together. And so ridiculously cute. And I could not be happier for two friends who just bumble through life gorgeously.

I know of a similar story between two girls. The relationship between the guy and the second girl lasted a year or two. Now nobody really speaks to anyone.

It does make one think. When is it that you honour your friend? And when do you hope they’ll keep honouring you but risk it anyway as you realise that it is necessary to dishonour them?