Thursday, October 04, 2007

Mates' Sex Lives

"So did you shag him?"
"You know I don't discuss that"
"It's fine. I'll get it out of him when he gets here just now"
"That's cool. He can tell you what did or didn't happen"
"Fine"
"So how are you doing, lady? What's news and all of that? Did you get that project done?"
"Ohforgodsake. Did you shag him?????!!"

The thing is...personally... I have NO desire to think about my mates nakedly romping about each other, their beds, houses & Edgars Change Rooms. Yeah yeah, I love you all but, unless of course you are inviting me in on the future action, your sex lives less than interest me. Eugh. Your wobbly bits colliding with his or her bits in some bumper-lumper-athon. No thank you.

Well... Unless it was some ridicuously hilarious story about how your guy's cat "caught a grope" while you & your guy were lovingly getting it on.

Oh wait... That wasn't you...

9 comments:

lordwiggly said...

Soooo.....DID you shag him?

Revolving Credit said...

Why, you scared that you may get turned on??

Do pictures count?

Champagne Heathen said...

Wiggles - Sometimes friends try to use wine to find out my stories. Soooo....when are you ploughing me full of wine?!??!

Rev - AKKKK. Can you imagine seeing your best mate caught on camera in some throws of passion moment, with their flabby arse dominating half the glossy photograph. No thank you. I'll leave my viewing of such images to those of strangers.

Revolving Credit said...

Kinda something like this !

Champagne Heathen said...

HA HA HA!!! I don't think it would make me throw up though. Well, images of friends that is.

And I would hope my folks would have the foresight to put their homemade porn on sites I am unlikely to be downloading from!

Jam said...

I can answer this question now. For everyone. But I won't. Unless you buy ME lots of wine. Hur hur.
Lies anyway - you always kind of tell if you have....

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like Jam shagged him, whoever him may be!

Champagne Heathen said...

Or it means that Jam FINALLY put out for me!...or is that "to me"? "For me"? "To me"? Where's a damn "common sexual grammar mistakes" book when you need one!

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, it all sounds very lesbian to me??

Please post pics.