Multiply Choosing Myself

I am horribly sick because:
· I braved Turkish bathes…. and lost;
· I spent 28 hours in airplanes and airports flying home;
· I have gone from 35 humid heat to sub-zero temperatures in less than a week;
· I am not actually sick, but drank too much in a cinema on Tuesday night & ate something bad at yesterday’s conference out of town.

I am the only person in the office right now because:
· There was no electricity this morning and the other staff all went home;
· I couldn’t go home because I don’t have a car today;
· They all did their work while I was being horribly ill at home or attending random conferences in northern Gauteng;
· I am a fucking idiot;
· And they are not.

I am feeling sorry for myself because:
· I am deathly ill;
· I have no car or lunch or money & barely have electricity;
· I cannot feel my toes;
· I am the only person left in the office and still have much work to finish;
· I came back from holiday & back in reality;
· I am a fucking idiot.

At least I am not:
· In flooded Cape Town;
· Throwing up. Yet;
· Osama Bin Laden … I hear he is losing his grip on his terrorising networks. Poor guy, after all those years of work and dedication… they just don’t make fundamentalists like they used to;
· Without this massive jersey and the thick socks today and I do have a warm bed I can dream of fondly;
· In this office, alone, feeling so sick, still without electricity, internet or car.

HAPPY WEEKEND to anyone who also hasn’t yet started theirs.