"I'm sorry ma'am, but you're gonna have to put a coin on it"

The boyfriend is in his last days of phone contact as he heads northwards through Western Australia.

This was established when I received a text message last night saying: “They serve topless in Kalgoorlie!!”

Some investigation awhile later lead me to find about “Skimpies” – girls letting it all hang out in the name of Outback High Entertainment, bare mammaries gliding in follow-through as they push your pint of XXXX across the ashed & beer-slopped bar counter.

And this is when the team of guys were still dining in the more polite establishments.

Further investigation informed me that in this town the shooters have even been rumoured to contain breast milk (wtf?!?!) and that many a barlady prefers her outfit to consist of high heels, panties and… coins on her nipples.

He called later that night to slur into my ear from a pavement about he’d had an extremely insightful DMC with a local about how “those damn womens groups came into me town and said No More Nipple! And now the Sheilas have to glue coins onto their nipples! Dammit! Where are me good old days!”

RAH!

Where indeed.

And then the biggest earthquake in 50 years struck the town this morning.

Apparently this “certainly ruined [the] cup of coffee this morning” of the local hotel owner.

If this is what he is still experiencing in areas populated enough to have cell phone reception, I cannot wait for 5 weeks time when the stories of serious Outback living come flooding in!