Monday, September 20, 2010

Got Milk

“Oh.Dear.God.No! You’re not putting M.I.L.K into your tea!? Do you realise that is MILK! Do you know where MILK comes from!?”

Cows?

Or the devil?

I’m confused.

“No No No. We are the only creatures that consume milk after we have been weaned! Did you know that!!! Did you!”

Uh oh. .....No.  

What about goat's milk... llama milk! That must be alright! Right? My dear slightly demented hippy friend?

“It is just not right! None of this global milk drinking is ‘alraaight’. Right!”

Uuuuuh, my tea is getting cold….

“Do you know how they GET the MILK from these animals!?”

YES! Teats! Teats and suckers! I’ve seen it happen! All the fat arse cows spend hours in a field eating & shitting. Then they suddenly just all waddle into line & stroll on home with their massive udders swaying about. The farmer sticks on some gadget, and the milk flows and flows and flows! It's incredible! Nature & science at work!….oh… why are you looking ill… am I wrong about this?

“And what goes INTO that MILK. Not just MILK! I assure you”

Yes. But. That “stuff” isn’t that shite for you. Excuse the pun. After all, look how it improves cheese!

“Cheese! Well, cheese is different! Mmmm cheese…….”

It is?? Milk, bad? Cheese, good? Both for the same reason?

Some days are just harder than others to be enclosed in offices with do-gooders.

5 comments:

louisa123 said...

People get so serious about the weirdest things. I for one, happen to like milk, and not the watered down type either. Full cream all the way, in fact if I can still taste a bit of cow in it I like it even more.

po said...

Haha I haven't encountered this attitude in ole ingerland, I'm sure it is the way in posh London but out in the Midlands towns we still drink our milk with a smile.

Spear The Almighty said...

All this talk about milk has made me want some. I think I'll stroll down to the shop and buy myself a litre to down. :)

SonnyVsDan said...

hahahaha I used to live with a guy that had that whole milk thing going. He drank Rice Milk, whatever that is. I pointed out how weird it was that he could eat processed meat or eggs or even his damned rice milk, which I can assure you aren't cooked/processed/delivered in the animal kingdom.

Champagne Heathen said...

Louisa, that's even thing, I drink the watered down version! But after such a confrontation, I now seem to be hankering after true thick full cream milk! Mmmmm, cooooow!

Po - :) Straight from the bucket under the udder! (Eugh, no, I am not strong enough for that, weak cityslicker that I am!)

Spear - :P Good on ya!

Sonny - You Aussies definitely have far far too much choice over your milks! Like that ad on tv says. I just know "Full Cream", "Low Fat", "Skim". Any more complicated than that & I go into a stunned state!

This is the thing, considering some of the things that I have seen animals eat, I am quite happy to not be following the diet of the "natural" world anymore! The "eating" theories are all a little too flawed for me... like pointing out to a raging vegetarian that they have nice leather shoes...!