was implemented up. I was attentive, ready, but instead of artistic focus, I found myself standing staring at this man's pink bits. Well, not so much pink by this stage and age, but more of a bruised grey.
"Right! Charcoal to it! Let's draw! ... Look for the angles students! Angles!"
"Angles?? Dear god man, you've offered me up a geriatric Cupid after the annual lard-tasting Fest and you're talking about angles? My buxom breast has more sharp edges than this poor naked sod!"
But dear Prof was having none of this. This was an original Olympian if ever there was an Ancient Greek on a mission to reincarnate. "Ignore the finer details, just focus on the skills! What I taught you about anatomy!"
Anatomy, yes. This, no! Where's my coy blushing episode!? My "oh I could never draw that" giggle giggle moment!? There are only 2 reasons we take Life Drawing; one is to draw, two is to return to embarassed mildly-horny school teenager. Where was my Brad Pitt in a robe, dammit!
The prof was blatantly ignoring my sulky teen angst. He rather grabbed my charcoal & began to craft.
And as I watched, slowly sketched insight descended onto my artistic disappointment. Clearly my dear teacher had not come across that Art School of Thought; Draw what you see, not what you think. But perhaps this was not such a bad thing....
Shadows got muscled out, greys became toned, belly buttons appeared with parallel lines radiating from them. I almost got turned on.
Here, on my papyritic page, appeared a man amongst men! A hero to jump out and take on my world. This six-pack of crumbling black smears pumped out of the page and had all of us weak at the knees!
Me! I need a hero to the end of the night! I nearly screamed from my easel!
To which the model belched, lolled over into his tattery poly robe, and said, "Right, who's up for some Micky D's!?"