Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thought I'd say HELLO

Have you ever opened up your email in the morning. Received a phone call. Walked into a place & seen a face - that makes you feel like you were just punched in the stomach. So hard that at first you don’t realise what an impact it’s had. Until you are sitting in a meeting and have to ask what agenda item they are now on, cause you just spent the past 10 minutes rehashing thoughts and memories you once held for that person. And hopes. And desires. And feelings that you had long since suppressed because, well because they had left your life.

They are not meant to come back, those people. You spend long enough moving on from not having them in your life. Whether friends or lovers. The emails between you two lessen. You learn to stop the need to see or speak to them. Eventually, they become some split-second grin-at memory. That is all. You were happy it happened.

Then there they are. You are so happy to see their name, hear their voice, touch their cheek when you kiss them “hello” again. You are also so nervous.

Obviously this happened to me this morning. Funny that I was thinking about that person just last night. Out of the blue. Maybe as he started to compose a message to me. Or apparently was tracking down my email address again. We’d given up on ever seeing each other again. Not only did he live in another distant city, and not only was he removing himself from a project that brought him here, but he was resigning from that whole job and moving to a completely other distant country on another corner of the earth. I appreciated that this change meant Jo’burg city was unlikely to be ever again on his career’s radar.

I was wrong.

He probably visits again next week.

I am at a loss & feeling just slightly bruised.

23 comments:

Jam said...

Mmmm. Well obviously depsite distant cities and all that he's keen. But if this one if going to break your heart again, perhaps you need to steer clear? Or just be realistic about what it is that you're getting into.

Champagne Heathen said...

Denial is a beautiful thing. I can deny all I want about be realistic about what I'd get into, or that I will have just 1 drink. I'll get back to you this time next week about what a fool I am. Happy probably, but a fool.

It just always amazes me that people can take such a hold on one, no matter time or distance.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - if he's going to break your heart, and you already he'll hurt you - stay far far away! I'm with Jam on this one. An email can ruin an entire day - when Smalls sms' me, I'm agitated for the rest of the day. So I understand.

Just also see what he does when he gets here.

Daedalus said...

Cynical D has somming to say: "Best way to get OVER someone is to get UNDER someone" ;)

Jam said...

Cynical D - I did that and you disapproved... ;-)

Daedalus said...

I said ... "Cynical"
In Champs case I think I need to flip my theory ... she seems hung up with this dewd.

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas - the day though that we have the sense to not get hurt, will be one incredible day for humankind! I am like a bug to the light - I just can't stay away *ZAP*. I mailed him back saying it would be lovely to see him if he does come to Jo'burg. And so the experiment begins....

Daeds - I reckon you might be right there! I think he & I have some unresolved business.... ;)

Jam - does that mean I will become as cute & puppy-eyed as you guys?! ;P

Jam said...

We are SO NOT cute and puppy-eyes.
Erm.. *blush*

Champagne Heathen said...

Next time I will have my camera with me to record it! Although, I fear, at least one of you will have your eyes closed in any pic I capture...what with all that eyelid batting!! ha ha.

Revolving Credit said...

Damn, sounds like someone in your office accidentally dropped their teaspoon on the floor which resulted in you tripping up and falling forward where a 100 car iron ore freight train ran over your ovaries.

I really hate when that happens.

You know that him leaving again will hurt.
But only you can decide whether a few days or brief moments of happiness is worth this pain.

Worst case, you know you have blogspot to cry on.

Daedalus said...

"cute and puppy-eyes" WTF?

Champagne Heathen said...

Well Rev, I am hoping he is not going anywhere NEAR my ovaries. Otherwise it will be more than a few days of pain & more like a few months! (re: to yesterday's posting if I make no sense).

So good to know you will hold out a shoulder for me to cry on and a bottle of witblitz, without ever saying, "but we told you so". Thanks!

Daeds - OH! So you haven't been witness to it yet! It is just too cute for words :)

Daedalus said...

Champs,
No... I've only seen em sober

Jam said...

And we're different now to the way we were before...
Okay, promise to take photos Champs!
Friday night...

Daytripper said...

Sheesh Champs!
You're doing my tough guy image no good here at all!

Champagne Heathen said...

Daytripper - he he he!!

Daeds - as Jam says, you gotta see them now! Cuter than ever even when sober! he he he.

Jam - I will click away!!

Revolving Credit said...

'puppy-eyes'??

I know of someone who referred to their nipples as 'puppies noses'

If your inference is similar, then : 'Jam says, you gotta see them now! Cuter than ever even when sober! he he he'..does concern me somewhat.

Champagne Heathen said...

Rev, how do you know that Jam's nipples look like puppies eyes!?!? Now THAT does concern me somewhat! Especially as a fairly big tough guy may have thought he had exclusive rights to her puppy nipples.

This is odd. GnT time, I think!

Revolving Credit said...

I was talking about puppies noses.
You've just said that Jam's got puppy nipples.

Now whos asking who?

Daedalus said...

"Piggy-nose" Rev?
Here is an idea:
OLD OSTENDO POST
Hehehe...

Jam said...

Sheesh - I leave for half a day and come back to find that I have puppy nipples...

Daedalus said...

Bwhahahahahaha!!

Champagne Heathen said...

He he he. Jam, it wasn't me. It was all Rev. Afterall, how would I know what your nipples look like ;0)