25 = 1st Quarter Down

So, if I am to die at approximately the average age of 100, then today is the last day of the first quarter of my life. I only have three quarters left. Strange to think. Actually, kinda freak-ass scary to think. (Any more mathematically minded people, ja ja, tula & let me be romantic, with my possibly bad calculations).

And how do I feel?

Like this coffee is a bit too sweet. Like the Bar One Choc Fudge cake next to me that I had to buy for the office will not last till lunch. And slightly warm, cause I know someone just sneaked the A/C off again.

….all in all, indifferent.

I do think a woman realises she is getting older when all the older men in the office start cracking dumb jokes about “don’t worry, I won’t ask how old you are”, or “so are you turning twenty one again. Ha ha ha ha.”
Champs: Ha ha ha (lucky for you, you’re the boss otherwise I would not be smiling) ha ha ha!

Speaking of which, the boss forgot to purchase the champagne he promised me in Monday’s staff meeting. I have told him that if he was not the one paying my monthly living abilities, I’d have sworn at him. He had to laugh back – it’s my birthday tomorrow afterall.

Was Twenty-Five a good year?

Well, I brought it in with my own dumpie bottle of Moët, after having just returned from a week in Paris. I moved apartments. I moved jobs. I have managed to lose nearly five kilos. I have made more people aware of HIV, and the complex issues around the virus. I am doing yoga again. I saw parts of southern Mozambique. I fell insanely in love with a man who cannot be with me. I started a time consuming hobby that has landed me many many darling friends, and some goofballs, and given me hope in my once-lost talents. I have had one close family friend die. I got through half an Honours course. I have visited the capital of Lesotho. I have been very sick. I was able to see all my brothers at least once in the past year. I have said goodbye to far too many good friends who went travelling & relocating. I have been completely infatuated with two other men, where nothing materialised, and sadly they are now no longer really part of my life. That still kinda hurts, in that melancholic way. I have had two HIV tests – both being negative. I had more sex than when I was twenty-four, but still not enough to put me at ease… but then, as one man in my life always says, “Nobody ever says they have had enough sex”.

It was a transition age I guess.

Meanwhile, many a person has been asking me – what do you really really want for your birthday??Well, I think that answer is obvious. But, since it seems no one is offering themselves up to me, or even just willing to ‘take one for the team’, I have generously added a few more items to the list.

And no, I have a phobia thanks to all those ‘80s Sci Fi films about robots ruling our lives, so battery-operated electronic gadgets just are not featuring. For this year, at least.

Champ’s 26th Birthday List:
1. Earth-shattering quality, silly amount of, shagging with a hot man;
2. Earth-shattering quality, silly amount of, shagging with an uber-hot woman (Consolation prize, ok.);
3. Plane ticket to NYC & San Fran for August 2008, with a guarantee of getting the USA visa even with a RSA passport;
4. Jewels that I can trade in or make even Ivana jealous with;
5. Funky gumboots. I don’t know why. Do you really think I even stand a chance on no’s 1-3, I may as well go for gold;
6. Music to improve my currently dulled selection – copied cds are more than welcome. Do not waste your good money on new ones. Damn The Music Industry Man!;
7. Champagne (Please note: Champagne never ever has the initials J.C. anywhere near it. Only Jesus is allowed to hold those initials. Anything else will be/ has been cursed);
8. World Peace;
9. Every single last episode of Sex And The City (refer to No. 6);
10. A night out of drinking paid for by “you”…whoever “you” happens to be. Same can apply for a meal at any time of day. Might be the priciest item on this list actually;
11. Chocolate. A lot of;
12. For all people to engage only in low-to-no risk sexual & drug-use behaviour. Kids to never be born with HIV. Kids to never have to prostitute themselves to feed their families, but rather, somehow miraculously, be provided for in healthy manners. Ok, that will do for this year;
13. Book vouchers;
14. To never ever ever feel a hangover again. Ever

What I do not want ever again, but thanks for thinking of me!:
1. Fondue set – 2 unused ones are enough (certain people did not just read this…Of course I have used it. Cough. Of course. Bugger.)
2. Bad Jewellery, book, cd, dvd – it is bad luck to give things away that were given to you as presents, so I will be haunted by these for forever;
3. The box for grapes you bought at the robot because you felt bad for the guy hawking them, and then you conveniently remembered your sister’s twenty first birthday was the exact same day as you had some random purchase to get rid of. …my student digs did enjoy the grapes though.

Happy MY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow!! Be sure to either drink a glass of champagne or a pint of an Irish draught for me, wherever in the crazy fun world you are, you darling people!!