Monday, September 10, 2007

Priority Adjustments

Here’s the rub…

Having being single for basically twenty-six years of this hooligan life of mine, I have set my priorities. People I put first, second, a distant third…

Family is always first. The six of us are too close to allow any other person to cause shite amongst us. And boy, do they try. I find it disturbing that people enjoy making a stab at playing my brothers and I off each other, attempting insults of my folks, or relaying spiced-up stories of me to them. All it will do is destroy a friendship, and not the relations between the crazy siblings and crazier parents.

Friends, who I get on too well with, who improve my life, who have stuck it out through mad and bad times and helped me out, are a very close second. To the extent that I will play chauffeur to fkcing Kempton Park on a Sunday morning for one of them to pick up his date.

So when a guy comes along, sparing a second of my day for him ain’t easy. When my mates need me, I jump to it. And the irony is, is that I would like my future guy(s) to holds similar priorities. Loyalty is all that.

But then when is it time to compromise? If I hope to ever enjoy the fun, loving, (regular sex!) times of a relationship, then do I not have to sometimes put good mates second, let alone let down the family, so to be able to explore dodgy uncertain possibilities with a man I barely yet know.

It is not easy to reorder the priorities of a very single, very independent woman.

Not easy at all.

9 comments:

Daedalus said...

Ola... Shampooooo!!
You might also wanna read this:
http://www.ostendo.co.za/?p=977
- D

Champagne Heathen said...

Great post that! But where does the "potential" fit in?? Which of the circles?
(That statement can be turned around to sound so terrible. Note: I especially used the word 'circle' instead of 'ring'!)

Sweetass RSA said...

i couldn't agree more! good lord in heaven have mercy, i feel exactly the same...family and friends have proven themselves time and time again...but men...oi...if it wasn't for the sex i would skip men altogether...but sex=uber important...

lordwiggly said...

Hey I've got the same problem when it comes to chicks. So I reckon men and women should just have open, casual sex when necessary and focus their priorities on family and friends. Problem is finding those willing sexpartners...any takers?

Daedalus said...

We move people around in these orders Shampooo.. this is largely based on our own needs.

Unfortunately every other person have these orders of involvement too and move people in the same manner ... this is what makes relationships with them all so terribly complex.

As to where people fit is entirely up to where you see them and where they see you. Ego (self esteem) is measured by the 50% you think of yourself and 50% of what others think of you.

;-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Sweetass... it's a tough one, when do you lean towards the guy you don't know, and when you do lean towards your friends and family. But you gotta keep doing both in life. And at least, the friends & family should understand.

Wiggles - "when necessary"? Is it not always necessary! You can always take me Wiggles.

Daeds - So such a post then is possible showing a change in my needs in life? Next thing you are going to tell me I have some maternal clock tick tocking away in me. Uh oh.

50% of what people think of me is that I am just great! ;)

Daedalus said...

Shampooooo...

I think you have many great qualities ;-) But, that only firmly place me in your "acquaintance order" heheh... yeah, ... and watch out for that clock thing ...

Both men and women have changing needs as time goes by. Maslow have always been the basis for all behavior. "Basic needs" dictate that you have "deficit needs" like sex and that the next level, "security needs", cannot be filled if you have outstanding lover needs... love only comes at the 3rd level of Maslow. ( http://www.ostendo.co.za/?p=395 - more there... )

This is also influenced by many other aspects like your "Frame Of Reference - F.O.R".

A dent F.O.R might make it even harder to entrust people into your inner circles (orders. not rings)

Anton said...

I dislike Sexism, Sweetass, and this (haha) swings both ways.

Skip a man who may be contribute to you in terms of conversation, for example.

And perceptive.

Dolce said...

hear hear!